Pikmin: Random Stupidity
by Block
Summary: An old file on my computer, this fanfic is a compilation of various short entries from various people on a message board. Simply put, it's Pikmin at its... stupidest. Blasphemous for the Pikmin followers, funny to everyone else. Continued!
1. The Random Story

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Oh man. As I mentioned in the summary, this was an old file that's been festering on my computer for years. Can't believe I forgot about it for that long. Anyway, this fic originated on the GameFAQs message boards on a thread known as "Pikmin: Choose Your Own Adventure," a thread that compiled several short story segments from various forumites into a working "fanfic." TriskaDeka kindly submitted the complete version to me, but I sadly lost contact with him/her a long time ago.

This fanfic is probably the most politically incorrect thing on the Pikmin section of The grammar and spelling are horrid at times, the characters act downright moronic, and the plot gets very... no, **unbelievably** stupid at times. Why didn't I proofread it? Simple. The original scripts of the original posters on GameFAQs were funny, and proofreading these incorrect passages wouldn't be right. After all, sometimes a little bad spelling can be funny.

Oh, and this fic does feature purple Pikmin, but they're unlike their counterparts in Pikmin 2. The entire thing was written in 2002, two years before the release of P2. Just wanted to point that out.

Now, on with the show!

-Block (formerly known as Grenade Guzzler)

* * *

Pre-Day 1: Space Flying

Olimar: I really needed a vacation. All this work is just too much for me.

Computer: You're a weakling.

Olimar: I guess I am.

Computer: Hehehe, you're a weakling!

Olimar: Sometimes I wish this ship would just crash and it would make you be quiet.

Computer: Then fly into an asteroid. See if I care!

Olimar: I'm not that dumb!

-Meteor comes out and hits the Dolphin-

Olimar: Ah crap.

Computer: Hahaha! Sweet freedom!

-The computer burns off and falls to the ground, along with other parts-

Olimar: NOOOOOO!!!!

-The Dolphin crashes on planet surface-

Day 1: The Impact Site

Olimar: I... must have passed out. Lines from game Hmm, that red lump over there looks strange. I

wonder if I should approach it...

-The Red Onion pops up! -

Olimar: Whoa! Lines from game

-The Pikmin seed comes out and spawns a leaf-

Olimar: What should I do? I know! I'll take off my helmet for some air, this Oxygen can't be too poisonous...

-Takes off helmet-

-Chokes-

-Puts helmet back on-

Olimar: Guess not...

-Approaches plant-

-Picks plant-

-Pikmin comes up-

Olimar: Wow! What are you?

Pikmin: I'm a Pikmin.

Olimar: What's a Pikmin?

Pikmin: Me!

Olimar: Oh... What do you do?

Pikmin: Work.

Olimar: Like what?

Pikmin: Kill that big animal over there.

Olimar: OK

-Pikmin goes over to a Bulbear and dies-

Olimar: um... ok...

-Olimar takes off his helmet, thinking that Oxygen is fun to breathe. Inhales, then begins to choke... Olimar dies... A pikmin comes along, and it is about to pick Olimar up-

-Olimar wakes up from sleeping-

Olimar: Hmm, I must have been dreaming.

-He sees a leaf in the ground-

-Olimar opens his eyes wide to find out he WAS NOT in a dream world and he kills himself. The Pikmin are going to pick his body up. -

-Olimar's ghost Gives Dunkaroos to all the Pikmin. -

-The Pikmin eat...And eat...and eat...-

(GASP! The Pikmin are choking on the dunkaroos!!!)

-Olimar's ghost walks away-

Olimar's ghost: Boring... hey, there's an earthquake here or something?

-Olimar wakes up inside his ship-

Olimar: AAAAH!!! Oh... it was all a dream. Wait a minute... why am I on this planet where I crashed in my dream?

(WARNING: ALL SUPER MARIO BROTHERS 2 FANS PREPARE FOR A RIPOFF!)

Olimar: Is this a déja vu or what? I've seen all this in my dream... that red Onion thingy is right in the same place. And what's really spooky is that this planet has poisonous Oxygen... thank goodness I breathe a Made-up-gas-thingy.

-Another earthquake, this time with more um... shakiness-

Olimar: Oh cripes…

-It turns out that the Death Star is trying to take over the planet! -

(Olimar runs out of his ship to find... one red Pikmin. One red leaf Pikmin. Olimar picks him up and just as the Pikmin touches it the Death Star explodes. More earthquakes occurred. Olimar and the Pikmin run into the forest to find... The Massage Machine set to "destroy planet")

Olimar: Oh no! Not the Massage Machine!!!!!!!!

Computer: Where is my boot disk?

Massage machine: DESTROY! DESTROY! DESTROY! DESTROY! DESTROY! DESTROY! DESTROY! DESTROY!...

Olimar: OKAY!!! WE GET THE POINT!

-A Wollywog appears-

Wollywog: SQUISHY SQUISHY!

-Wollywog jumps, misses, and falls right on the massage machine-

Massage machine: ERROR! ERROR! ERROR! Error...rrrrrrr... -fizzle-

Wollywog: -pointing at Olimar- SQUISHY SQUISHY!

Olimar: I better do something here. I know! I'll...Order a pizza!

Olimar: Hello? I want a Seafood Pizza! On The double!

Pizza Guy: here you go!

Olimar: Damn those fast-food Joints! -Grabs pizza and throws-

Wollywog: My Brothers! -Jumps after pizza-

Pizza Guy: I want a tip!

Olimar: Huh? Oh here have a Pikmin

Pikmin: You cruel creature!

Olimar: I never liked you anyway

Wollywog: Oh no...My long lost cousin just fell into a hole!

Olimar: Oh well...

Wollywog: You freak! I will kill you!

Olimar: Not if I...Act like an agitated Gorilla with rabies!

Olimar: Rabies attack!

-Olimar runs around and randomly attacks the Wollywog with different body parts-

Wollywog: That tickles. Take this!

-The Wollywog jumps on Olimar, knocking him out. When he wakes up again, he is lying down in front about a million bulborbs-

Bulborb #108: There he is! The one who has been killing all of our allies!

Bulborb #256: Kill him!

Bulborb #212: Skin him!

Bulborb #1: Patience. First, we have to ask him a few questions. Do you really think you could just kill us and get away with it?

Olimar: Uuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Bulborb#1: Get him guys!

Olimar: Uh-oh! I know I'll fight back!

-Soon he tries to kick one of the bulborbs and gets knocked out. When he awakens Emperor Bulblax stands before him. Olimar decides to run away-

Olimar: I must run! Make haste!

Bulblax: Duh...

Olimar: Um...You're supposed to chase me...

Bulblax: Oh...ARGNECLAPHECNISH

Olimar: WTF WAS THAT!?!?!?!??!?!

Bulblax: Bulborb War cry

Olimar: right...

Pikmin: Let's begin the chase already

Olimar: I must do something drastic... -Takes off helmet- COUGH COUGH -Puts helmet back on-

Pikmin: Dummy.

Olimar: **-**Shakes fist at the sky- Damn you, oxygen!!! Ack, I still need to run away. He's gaining on me!

-Olimar runs and finds the black onion-

Olimar: Holy crap... a new species of Pikmin!

Black Pikmin: Duh... I'm da smartest pikthingy in da world! hahaha

Olimar: Huh?

Black Pikmin: Now watch me do my... uh... special thing

-Black Pikmin goes up to a Bulbear and explodes killing the Bulbear and itself-

Red Pikmin: The self-destructing under intelligence Black Pikmin. Maybe if we can get some more seeds from that Onion we could use them against Bulblax back there.

Olimar: But I can't wait for the next day!... Can you bring a pellet back to another onion?

Pikmin: Noooooooooooooo!!!!!! I can't take a pellet back to another onion!!!

Olimar: Why not?

Pikmin: Because my onion will start producing self-unearthing Bulblax seeds!

Olimar: But wont the seeds then listen to me?

Pikmin: Yes.

Olimar: Then get the pellets!

Pikmin: Ok!

-Three minutes later-

Red Pikmin: All done with the pellets.

Olimar: Good I will go pick them and throw them at Bulblax and pick the good Bulblax seeds and we will destroy him. But before we do I am gonna take off my helmet.

(After taking off his helmet, he once again realizes that he can not breathe on this planet. As he is recovering from yet another shock, he notices his Pikmin are carrying him towards the blue Onion)

Olimar: Hey! What are you doing!?

Pikmin (collectively): We're sick of you acting like a retard!

Olimar: Oh, this is NOT going to look good on my journal.

Pikmin: You won't need a stinkin' journal where you're going. We'll make you one of us so you'll be useful!

Olimar: Wait a minute! Let me ask you one thing - How do you think guys like me feel when they're cornered?

Pikmin: They're sure they've won… Now shut up and hang on, we'll fix you up in just a sec.

-The Pikmin feed Olimar into the onion-

-The onion suddenly trembles, then vomits up Captain Olimar and explodes-

Olimar: Whew! Thank goodness for bean burritos!

-Then the bushes nearby tremble, and a new pikmin jumps out! It's a Mech Pikmin!-

Olimar: What the hell!!! I am getting out of here!! -runs-

-Suddenly a bunch of Mech Pikmin come out from the bushes.-

-They surround Olimar and then… He gets warped into apparently some kind of time portal that popped out of nowhere-

-Olimar gets sucked in and goes straight to the beginning of the game. Olimar finds three things around him, a red Pikmin, the Dolphin (broken of course)-

Olimar: -tapes his helmet so he won't take it off- Ha! Now I can't take my helmet and die like I did last time! Take that, oxygen!... Hey, why do I hear a buzzing noise?

-Olimar realizes that a Shearwig was on his helmet and won't get off-

Olimar: Great. If I could take off my helmet I could squash it (while holding my breath of course). Now what am I gonna do? I know I'll run around in circles screaming for no reason!

Olimar: -runs around in circles screaming for no reason-

-The Shearwig gets off-

Olimar: Now, how to get revenge on it? Aha! I'll use my helmet!… Grr! Stupid thing! Come off! Oh yeah, I taped it… well, I guess I'll just push this rock on it.

-Olimar pushes the rock and squashes the Shearwig-

Olimar: take that! Now what do I do? I know, I'll push the button!

Olimar: Whoa, what does this button do?

Mysterious Voice: Summons the Emperor!

Olimar: Oh no, then I won't press it.

-Olimar goes to pick a Pikmin. It follows him around for a while, but trips and flies onto the button-

Mysterious Voice: Haha! Here he comes!

Bulblax: I'm gonna kill you!

Olimar: Oh no, I guess I have to… sit down for a minute to think up a good strategy. Let's see... think, think, think.

(While Olimar was thinking, Emperor eats him)

Emperor: -Burp- Tastes like Chicken.

-Stomp-

Emperor: OWIE!! My foot!! (looks down) Huh? I thought I ate you!

Olimar: Actually, you ate my cousin, Alimar!

Emperor: Whatever. I'm still going to eat you!

-Olimar runs around, head-butting Bulblax. After about two hours, he has reduced Bulblax's "life wheel" thing to only 99-

Olimar: WHEW! I ... can't ... go on!

Bulblax: I'm just about ready to eat you!

-Bulblax shoots out his tongue-

Olimar: WAIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTT!!!!!!!

-Bulblax's tongue stops inches in front of Olimar and hangs there suspenseful-

Bulblax: What ith it now, you inthignificant midget thing? You think you're tho thpethial with all your Pikmin friendth.

-Olimar takes off his helmet to wipe the spittle off it-

Olimar: GAAAAASSSSSPPP!

-He puts it back on-

Olimar: Before you kill me, I want you to know that I am your father….

Bulblax: NOOOOOO!!! THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE!!!

Olimar: You're right. It's not. I was joking... hey, what are you doing?

-Bulblax has a seizure and dies-

Olimar: OK... where's my secret stash?

Dwarf Bulborb: It's gone that way!

Olimar: Okay, thanks!

-Olimar walks to the spot only to realize that it's… a freakishly mutated Pellet Posy that wants to destroy the universe!-

Mutant Pellet Posy: Hahaha! My pellets are full of fat and have no nutritional value!

Olimar: I can beat you up!

-Olimar walks to posy and begins hitting-

Posy: AAAAAH that tickles!

-Pikmin jump in from all over-

Pikmin: Haha! we will save you!

-Posy kills all Pikmin-

-Olimar gets sucked into another time portal that popped out of nowhere-

-Olimar gets sucked in, and lands at the beginning of the game. He sees three things: a Pikmin, the broken Dolphin, and a red button-

Olimar: I think I'll...Play Paddleball! -pulls out paddleball- 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10..

-6 days later-

Olimar: 6001..6002..

-suddenly Bulblax eats him-

Olimar: Dang! what do I do now? I know, I'll talk to the skeleton Pikmin! So, why are you here?

Pikmin: No Response

Olimar: Well that is interesting, I guess.

Pikmin: No Response

Olimar: …I know! I will make them talk by taking off my helmet, AGAIN!

-Olimar takes off his helmet-

Olimar: Hey! I can breathe Carbon Dioxide! I'll survive in here, but I'll just get digested in the end. Aha! He's sleeping with his mouth open. Now's my chance!

-Olimar walks out. Bulblax wakes up, but before he can figure out what happened, Olimar destroys him with his army of Pikmin-

Olimar: now I can take all the time I want to find ship parts. Hey! the Skele-Pikmin are alive!

Skele-Pikmin: hello, Olimar.

Olimar: What's your special ability?

Skele-Min: well, I can...

Olimar: Wait, I hear something...

Olimar#2: YAAAAAAAAAA!

(2 lands on 1. 1 sees 2)

1: EEEEEEEK!

2: Whoa. Is my nose that big?

1: Where did you come from?!

2: A time portal!

1: Well, it doesn't matter. We're trapped in this world along with this Skele-min whose power is...

Skele-Min: …to transform into Pikmin-loving predators! Here it goes...-transforms into a snagret-

Olimar#1: Holy Cow!

-The Pikmin decide they've had enough of fighting, pick up Olimar and hurl him at the snagret-

Olimar#1: Ahhhhhh help!

-Olimar flies right into the snagret's mouth. He lands down in the belly.-

Olimar#1: No worries, I'll just… won't do anything…

Outside...

Olimar 2: Oh no! he ate me! No wait... he ate him! Or is it me? GAAAH! I'm confused! Oh, well. I've got to think of a way to get him out! Or is it me out? Well, it doesn't matter. I'll have to go inside and save him.

Olimar 2: (tickles creature) Gootchie-gootchie-goo!

Snagret: Hee-hee-hee, HA-HA-HA-HA!

(Olimar jumps in creature's mouth and jumps out with Olimar 1)

Olimar 1: Wow. you saved me!

Olimar 2: Yeah, but now what? We got to find a way out!

Olimar 1: What about that bush that has "exit" written all over it?

Olimar 2: I see it!… Well, it's just -fizzle- I must review my controls for these Pikmin! I use B to call them, X to separate them, Y to -fizzle- Oh, home on the range, where the deer and the -fizzle- Luke, I am your mother!... I mean father -fizzle- Today on cooking with Suzy, we learn how to stir fry Pik-Pik carrots! First, you -fizzle-

Olimar 1: Hey, you're just some dumb robot!

Olimar 2: -crack- NOW WE'Re goInG to plAY A liTTle gAMe... BLFOBLZAAAAAAAAAARG...

-pop-

-EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!!-

Olimar: Well that was useless.

Olimar: Hmmm... Maybe I can think more clearly if I take my helmet off. -Takes off helmet, chokes, puts helmet back on- Oh yeah. I can think now. Maybe Olimar 2 had some food. -digs through junk- nope. I'll just go through the exit bush.

(Olimar goes through bush)

Olimar: Yay! I'm free!

-Olimar pulls the Pikmin out-

Pikmin: Why the heck did you have to wake me? I'll have to kill you for your insolence!

Olimar: Nooooo!!

Olimar runs away only to find…Another Time Portal!

-Olimar runs through the time portal-

Olimar: Maybe if I go through this time portal I can get to Pre-Day 1, and not get hit with a meteor!

-Olimar warps through time only to arrive at the GameFAQs Pikmin message boards!-

Olimar: Hey, what's with all the blue stuff? (Looks up) Hmm, "FAQ's". Wonder what those are... (Presses 'FAQ's' and goes to one of them) Wow! I can escape from this planet in 9 days! (Reads FAQ) Very interesting...

Person outside computer: Hey! What's Olimar doing in this FAQ?!

Olimar: Uh-oh...

POC: (Picks up phone) Hello? Computer Expert? What do I do when Olimar from Pikmin is reading a FAQ? Uh, huh. Yeah. OK, bye! He says I need to turn the power off.

Olimar: Uh-oh. If he turns the power off, I'll be gone forever! PleasepleasedonotturnoffthatswitchbecauseifyoudoIwilldieforever!!!!!!!!!!

POC: Whoa. I think I've got a virus. Let's see, trash bin, recycle -clicks on Olimar-

Olimar: AHHHH! Hold on! I am not a virus!

POC: I'll give you 15 seconds to scram. 1...

Olimar: AHHHH! Don't kill me!!!!!

POC: why?

Olimar: lean a little closer to the computer screen and ill tell you...

-poc leans closer to the computer screen-

-Olimar sucks poc into the computer-

POC: Where am I?

Olimar: Welcome to the -echoing voice- matrix matrix matrix...

POC: Huh? Who said that?

-Olimar slobbers and sticks finger in his belly button, and successfully pulls himself out of the computer-

Olimar: Do you feel lucky, punk!?

POC: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Olimar: Do you???

POC: Maybe I do, maybe I don't…

-A Bulbear also jumps out of the computer and attacks Olimar making the computer fall over-

-POC dies-

-Olimar raids the fridge-

Olimar: I wonder what this dude has to eat...

(Olimar opens freezer and goes inside. Bulbear closes door)

Bulbear: Hee, Hee, Hee!

Olimar: Oh, well. Somebody will free me eventually...

2,000 years later...

Olimar: Yep, any day now...

(Door thaws open; Olimar falls out)

Olimar: Oof!

(Some human goes to fridge)

Human: What the...? It's some weird astronaut dude!!

Olimar: Uh-oh… "Weird astronaut dude"? NO! I'm Olimar from Pikmin!

Human: What?

Olimar: You heard me!

Human: Pikmin? What are you talking about?

Olimar: Come on!!! You haven't heard of it???

Human: Nope.

Olimar: What year is this?

Human: 4002 AD. Why?

Olimar: Oh... Then I guess it makes sense.

Human: You know, you'd look good for my son's science project.

-Human hot-glues Olimar to a glass platform-

Olimar: Great. Now what am I going to do? I know! I will pinch myself and hope it's just a bad dream!

-Olimar pinches himself and wakes up-

Olimar: Oh, joy! That was a scary dream, but at least now I'm back in the real world with plant-animals who follow my every command, a giant emperor boss-thing with a pretty nasty fungal infection, and flowers that produce color-coded Pikmin food!

-Olimar squints into the distance-

Olimar: Could that possibly be... A Disgruntled Honeywisp? Nope. -wipes his eyes- It's... My ugly family??

Olimar's wife: Hi honey!

Olimar: -shudders and wipes his eyes again- It's...the last piece to complete my ship?? -moves closer to take a better look- It is!! Come to papa!

(Olimar ran towards his Secret Safe and tries to grab it)

Olimar: Hey! I can't grab it! It's a hologram!

(A Hole opens under him)

Olimar: What the...? (Falls) YAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

(Camera shifts to a Bulbear, holding a projector and remote control)

Bulbear: I love technology!

Meanwhile, in the hole...

Olimar: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA... (Lands) OOF! Huh? I'm alive? (Sees four caves)

After entering the first Cave, Olimar gets sucked into another portal and he appears in Hyrule! Olimar sees someone familiar standing next to a castle.

Olimar: Hey! You're Link, aren't you? I saw you in the last Nintendo meeting?

Link doesn't hear a word Olimar's saying.

Olimar: Oh, right, I'm the size of a quarter...

Link steps on Olimar making him fall through the earth.

As Olimar was falling, he had thoughts of where he would end up next. He could've ended up in Hocotate. He could've ended up in China. Instead, he ends up back in the Pikmin world again! Olimar lands on the ground and he sees three things. A yellow Pikmin, The Dolphin (Destroyed for some time now...), and a plaid switch that does... well, it does something, I guarantee you that.

-Olimar presses the switch when a yellow, red, and blue onion pops out of the ground-

Olimar goes over and touches them when...

Bowser jumps out of the bushes screaming "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!"

Olimar, thinking quickly, took out a 12-pack of Budweiser.

Bowser: BEER!

Olimar: Want the beer? FETCH! -throws the budweiser-

-Bowser runs after it screaming BEEEEEEEEEEERRRR!-

After Bowser left ,Olimar decided to search for the Dolphin, when pieces of scrap metal knock him on the head! A blue Pikmin ran towards Olimar worried.

Pikmin: -Huff-Puff- I came over here as fast as I could since I heard that knock!

Olimar: Pikachu!

Pikmin: Huh?!

Olimar: Pikachu!!!

Pikmin: OH NO!! He lost his memory! Now he thinks he's a Pikachu!!

-The Pikmin whacks Olimar over the head with a huge piece of metal found around the area, felling Olimar quite well-

-Olimar gets up after a long time-

Olimar: Squirtle! Squirtle!

-Olimar begins to "squirt"-

-Two red Pikmin and a yellow one die in the watery torrent of Olimar's "Water Gun" attack, but the blue one survives-

Pikmin: God, I wish I was dead right now. That's it! You asked for it Olimar!

-The Blue Pikmin took out a rocket launcher-

Pikmin: Now just stay still Squirtle…I mean Olimar. You will only fly a few kilometers... -Click- Huh? -Click- -Click- what a time to run out of ammo!

Olimar: Squirtle?

-The Pikmin threw the empty rocket launcher to the Red Pikmin by Olimar-

Blue Pikmin: You know what to do!

Red Pikmin: I do? Oh! I see…

-The Red Pikmin, with all his strength, jabbed the back end of the rocket launcher at Olimar's back, knocking him out and a message appeared on the top left of the screen...-

"Olimar was betrayed by A Red Pikmin."  
"Rejoin in 300...299..298"

And this message appeared on the bottom left of the screen...

"You Betrayed Olimar (-1)"

Red Pikmin: Hey! Why didn't you just shoot him!

Blue Pikmin: It's out of ammo!

Red Pikmin: What do you mean it's out of ammo? -Pulls trigger sending a rocket towards the Blue Pikmin- Oops…

Blue Pikmin: YOU IDIOT!! -Gets hit by the rocket and flies off into the sky and another message appeared...-

"You Betrayed The Big Loser (-2)"

Red Pikmin: I didn't know his name was the big loser...

-After Olimar's countdown reached 0, Olimar got up and started to walk around like a drunken person-

Olimar: Red Pikmin, for disturbing my brain injury induced bout of insanity, I will sacrifice you to a Fiery Blowhog!!

Pikmin: Pft, that stupid Blowhog doesn't scare me.

Puffy Blowhog: Did someone call me?

Olimar: Not you, Fiery Blowhog!

Puffy Blowhog: Aww, but you never let me have any fun...

Olimar: Get out! GET OUT!

Puffy Blowhog: Now I'm mad. Why I ought to...

Olimar: Blow a huge blast of Oxygen at me? Wouldn't work, I would just move out of the way.

Puffy Blowhog: How...How...

Olimar: Did I know what your saying? I'm special...

Puffy Blowhog: ...

Olimar: What!?

Puffy Blowhog: ...

Olimar: Eating cheese won't work either.

Puffy Blowhog: GRRR!!! THAT's IT!! I'm gonna unscrew that stupid helmet of yours!

(Blowhog takes off his helmet. Olimar dies)

Blowhog: HAHAHAHAHA!

-Stomp-

Blowhog: OWIE! My foot! (Looks down) Olimar?! I JUST KILLED YOU!

Olimar: Actually that was my cousin, Alimar!

Blowhog: Alimar?! I thought that was the guy eaten by the Emperor!!

Olimar: Well that was Elimar! He's my aunt's mother's father's sister's grandma's brother's grandpa's uncle's cousin twice removed.

Blowhog: ...?

Olimar: No wait that was Ulimar! Or was it Ilimar?

Blowhog: WHO CARES?!?!?!?!?!? I'm going to stomp ya!!!

Olimar: Crud-cakes.

-Olimar throws the Pikmin into the air, just as the Puffy Blowhog is sucking in. The Pikmin gets caught and the Puffy Blowhog starts choking. It finally succeeds in swallowing the Pikmin and laughs at Olimar-

Puffy: Ha!

Olimar: Poop!

-The Puffy Blowhog started to inflate uncontrollably-

Puffy: Oh boy...

-The Blowhog explodes, and there is puffy gore everywhere some of it splattered on Olimar's helmet-

Olimar: Ewww, what is this on my helmet?! I guess I have to wash it off.

-Olimar bends over near the water and takes off his helmet to rinse it off-

Olimar: I feeeeellll al l d i z z y . . . d i z z y!

-Olimar falls to his right, onto the bloody, blue Pikmin-

Olimar: Wha... hey, who are you? OH NO!!! VAMPIRE PIKMIN!!! SAVE ME! SAVE MEEEEEEE!!!

Pikmin: Whoa, what's wrong with you?

Olimar: SAVE ME!!! I WANT MY MOMMY!!!

-A Bulbear appears-

Bulbear: Gad, can't you shut this guy up? We're supposed to be sleeping all day you know!

Pikmin: Sure. -jumps in water and washes the blood off-

Olimar: MOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYY!!!... Oh, he's gone! Thank goodness!

Bulbear: Finally.

Pikmin: No offense, but you were acting like a idiotic maniac there.

Olimar: Yes... I was... I think I better sleep now...

-Night falls, the next day-

Olimar: Okay! Let me check my life-support systems... bah! I have only 10 days until the battery runs out!

-Olimar goes up to the yellow Onion and withdraws 3 Pikmin-

Olimar: I have a job for you three!

Pikmin: What is it?

Olimar: Run in that lake and drown. It's so funny to see you struggle!

Pikmin: -sigh- okay...

-Olimar watches the Pikmin drown. He is laughing so hard watching them struggle towards shore that he didn't realize that he needed to go to the bathroom-

-Olimar runs over to some bushes near by but realizes he can't go without taking his suit off-

Olimar: Oh no, what am I going to do! I need to go or I'll go literally! Wait what's that breathing sound behind me?

Pikmin: Relax, it's me!

Olimar: VAMPIRE PIKMIN!!! AAAAHHHH!!! Oh, wait, it's just a regular blue Pikmin. I've been having these hallucinations ever since yesterday.

Pikmin: Okay... I understand...

-something whacks Olimar on the head with a stick-

Olimar: Hey, what was that for? You cracked my helmet! You evil thing!

Pikmin: It wasn't me!

Olimar: Then who was it? A Ghost Pikmin?... Oh no... GHOST PIKMIN! AAAAHHHH! SAVE ME!!!

Pikmin: WILL YOU JUST BE QUIET???

Olimar: Okay... I need psychology right now.

???: I'll give you your psychology...

Olimar: Oh no! It's a yellow Wollywog!

Wollywog: HERE'S WOLLY!!

Olimar: Oh no! WAIT!!!!!!!!!

The Yellow Wollywog suddenly stopped in mid-air, seconds before he would land on Olimar.

Wollywog: What??

Olimar: I have one quick question.

Wollywog: Okay. Sure, I have the time.

Olimar: Did you whack me from behind with that stick?

Wollywog: Does it look like I could hold a stick???

Olimar: No...

Wollywog: Can we continue with this fanfic??

Olimar: Fine then...

So captain Olimar takes off his helmet only to find that the Wollywog passes right through him. He finds out he's dead. So he walks around to see what other ghostly things he can do. Then he found Emperor Bulblax that has eaten many of his pikmin. Seeing this he decided to order a pizza…

(Pizza Guy comes)

PG: Thank you for ordering Pete's Pickled Pickle Palace Pizza Place. (Try and say THAT three times fast!)

Olimar: Uh, aren't you supposed to say that after I give you the money?

PG: Sorry. Anyway, did you order Pete's Powerful Pinching Pizza? (Opens lid)

Olimar: HEY! That's not pizza! That's a disembodied hand!

(The hand pinches Olimar on his nose. Olimar wakes up back at The Impact Site on Day One)

Olimar: Sheesh, how many times am I going to wake up from stupid dream sequences?

-Olimar sees a red Pikmin, the thrashed Dolphin, and a polka-dotted switch that does who knows what.-

Olimar: I know! I'll take off my helmet!

-Olimar takes helmet off and chokes, then puts helmet back on-

Olimar: Shoot, why do I keep forgetting that. Maybe I'll pull that switch...

-Olimar pulls the switch only to trigger his helmet-auto-remove function!-

-Olimar's helmet pops off and starts rolling down a hill-

Olimar: Noooooooooooooo!!

-Helmet is eaten by a Spotty Bulbear-

Olimar: ACKK!!!...

-Olimar blacks out...-

When he awakes, he finds himself by the Dolphin! He sees the fully complete Dolphin (which somehow repaired itself), a Pikmin and yet another switch that just seemed to appear out of nowhere.

Olimar: Who…what…where…when…why…how? How did my ship just get repaired like that?

Pikmin: We can work independently, too.

Olimar: Well, that's good.

-Hops in spaceship-

Olimar: Countdown in T-10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Ignition…

-Dolphin takes off-

Pikmin 2: -Looking at the spaceship fly- I wonder if we should have installed a new engine… the power cells on that one are dismally low.

Pikmin 1: Nah.

Olimar: Well now that I'm finally on my way home what will I do now? I know! I think I'll fix my computer!

While Olimar was fixing his computer, he finally realized that the reason he left Hocotate was for milk and eggs! Since he finally realized it just now, he accidentally touched the "light speed" button and…

Computer: Systems at 0. Power cells inactive. ERROR!!! ERROR!!! ENGINE FAILURE!!!

Olimar: OH NO!!!

-Olimar's ship crash-lands back on the planet-

Computer: ERROR!! ERROR!! ERROR!!

Olimar: -Looks at the computer oddly- Great. This is just great...

Breadbug: I come to steal your pellets!

Olimar: ...excuse me?

Breadbug: Pellet! PELLET PELLET PELLET! -drags pellet-

Olimar: Okay... that was weird...

Computer: ERROR!! ERROR!!

Olimar: -Looks at computer oddly again- I don't want to ask... Hey, another time portal! But it's the "out" kind. It's going to spit something out! Oh no! It's a gigantic rock!

Computer: ERROR!! ENGINE FAILURE!! IMPACT IN 30 SECONDS!!

Olimar: -Looks at computer oddly- You know, that's pretty late...

While Olimar wasn't noticing, the rock lands on Olimar, and he goes through the earth. He pops out, finding himself at a fight in Super Smash Brothers Melee!

Olimar pops into an epic battle between Peach and Sheik. Peach notices him, but thinks it's just the Olimar trophy. She runs over and kicks him in the face to collect him. He flies off screen, but is able to jump back onto the stage. Meanwhile, Sheik just threw a Pokéball at Peach, but she dodged it. It opens to reveal Celebi, who creates a magical portal to take Olimar back to Pikmin world. Unfortunately, things are a bit different for some reason, and he realizes that the Dolphin is hovering over the ground. The Pikmin  
must have fixed it again...but now Olimar can't reach it. He jumps and he jumps but he can't reach it.

Olimar: I KNOW I WILL ORDER MY PIKMIN TO GET IT!!!!!!!!

-Olimar throws a Pikmin up there to fly his ship. He throws it too high up and it dies. The other Pikmin feel sad they lost their friend. They start advancing towards Olimar. He takes off his helmet to squash them…-

Olimar: DIE! -Cough- Helmet attack! -Cough- Wait! I must -Cough- not turn into an enemy-Cough- of these Pikmin! -Puts Helmet back on- I would feel all bad inside!

Pikmin: You'll feel bad on the outside too. Get him!

Olimar: Dang. Maybe I should take off my helmet to use as a stepladder to reach the Dolphin.

-Olimar takes off his helmet...again-

Olimar: GAG!!! KOFF-HAKK! -puts helmet on- Well, that was a stupid idea...

Pikmin: Say your prayers chump! -pulls out big hammer thingy-

Olimar: What the...? Where'd you get that?

Pikmin: I borrowed it from Amy Rose.

Olimar: Amy Rose?

Pikmin: Yeah, she's in the soundstage next door.

Olimar: Soundstage?

-A big microphone thing falls on Olimar's cranium-

Olimar: A big microphone thingy?!? Wait a sec... NOW I  
KNOW! This isn't a forsaken planet!! It's a stupid dream!

-Olimar wakes up-

Olimar: OKAY! THAT'S IT!! I AM TIRED OF THESE DUMB DREAM SEQUENCES!!! I AM GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE!

Olimar takes off his helmet. Olimar dies.

THE END

Or is it...

Olimar thought he could escape this fanfic by committing suicide. Too bad it didn't work... 

-Olimar wakes up-

Olimar: Where am I?

-A Mech Pikmin walks up to him-

Olimar: Mech Pikmin? I wonder what you do?

Pikmin: \/\/3ll, 1 5p34( l337 ...

Olimar: ... -drools-

Pikmin: 1d107.

Olimar: I don't understand you. I guess I'll have to reprogram you to speak real English rather than l337.

Olimar reprograms the Mech Pikmin.

Olimar: good now what is it?

Mech Pikmin: Kill the Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon.

Olimar: The what?

Mech Pikmin: sorry, Uh-oh! It's here! Ahhhhhhhh!

The Mech Pikmin malfunctioned and blew up.

The Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon appeared! It swung its tail and knocked out Olimar.

A Battle Warrior somehow destroyed the Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon.

Olimar wakes up and sees the Red Eyes Black Dragon.

Red Eyes Black Dragon: Hey everybody! Dinner's is ready!

All Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, Digimon, and Monster-Rancher monsters appear and said "Oh boy, an army of pikmin and Olimar!"

Olimar: I must fight back!

Olimar commanded the entire Pikmin army falls from the sky and destroys the Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, Digimon, and Monster-Rancher monsters army. Then the Pikmin ate them all and the Pikmin sit down in a grassy field.

Olimar: So, is that all you are going to do?

Pikmin: Sorry Mr. Olimar... We forgot...

-The Pikmin gets up and disperse. They all slowly march away from the corpse-ridden field, their bellies sagging to the ground after the feast they just had. -

-When Olimar can no longer see them, he took out his portable TV-

Olimar: I wonder what is on the news...

-Olimar flips to the news. -

News: All over the world, children were watching cartoons this morning. Then, a Pikmin army attacked... They ate all the children that were watching Pokemon and Digimon. Then they went to a factory in Mexico that makes Pikachu dolls and killed everyone working there.

Just then…Another Time Portal appears and takes him to "City Escape" from Sonic Adventure 2 Battle!

Olimar finds himself standing on a street. Suddenly, this big blue spiky thing is coming down on him at 250 mph.

Olimar: Hey! watch out! There's some-

-Splat-

Sonic: What was that? I think I ran over an animal!

Next minute, Olimar feels himself being hugged to death by a Chao!

Olimar: AHH! AHH! AHH!

SLAP!

The Chao is slapped silly! The Chao, confused, begins to cry...

Olimar decided to leave the Chao behind. While he was walking away, Olimar bumped into Sonic again, Sonic was mad that you slapped the Chao. So Sonic used Sonic Wind to blow Olimar away! Olimar ended up landing back in the Pikmin world again. Olimar decides to look for pikmin buds, but then he remembers that he left all his Pikmin in their onions, but when Olimar got there, the white gate leading towards the base was still unopened!

Olimar: Oh no! I'm in the Forest of Hope!! The Dolphin and onions are still in The Impact site!

???: There he is!

-Olimar turns around-

Bulborb#1: Get Him!

-The Bulborbs who showed up a long time ago are now advancing towards Olimar-

Olimar: Uh oh.. I guess those one million bulborbs wasn't a dream then.

Olimar: Huh? What is that sound?

-As Olimar turns around and looks through the white gate he sees four objects coming down from the sky-

Olimar: Is that what I think it is?

Yes it was! Slowly the Dolphin and all three onions landed, and another Olimar came out of the ship!

Olimar by the gate: I must try to open the gate by yourself!

Olimar by the gate tried head butting the door only to find out that the door didn't break down and he broke his helmet. Not knowing what to do, he decided to die peacefully. The pikmin on the other side of the gate saw what happened. The pikmin, feeling sad, decided to pick him up and feed him into the onion, changing him into a pikmin, The second Olimar plucked him and the first Olimar took his spaceship and took off!

Unfortunately, The spaceship didn't have its "Eternal Fuel Dynamo" and ran out of fuel in mid-flight. The Second Olimar put its cursor around you and whistled. For some unknown reason, the first Olimar felt an urge to follow him. Thinking quickly, he tried to fart to refuel the ship, but then he forgot that pikmin can't fart! As the Dolphin crashed, Olimar blacked out…

Later…

Pre-Day 1…Again…

-Olimar wakes up -

Olimar: what… Huh? Where am I?

Computer: You are in the ship you weakling! You have been sleeping for the past 6 days straight!

Olimar: Oh… I dreamed that I crashed into this planet, and all of my ship parts flew into different places in the planet, and the planet had poisonous oxygen. My emergency life support system wasn't fully charged so I had only 30 days before I would die, and there were these plant-like animals that I called Pikmin.

Computer: you are a weakling.

Olimar: I guess I am.

Computer: Hehehe, you're a weakling!

Olimar: Sometimes I wish that the ship would crash and it would make you be quiet

Computer: Then fly into an asteroid. See if I care!

Olimar: Whoa!! I think I'm having dejavu.

-Meteor comes out and hits the dolphin-

Computer: Hahaha! Sweet freedom!

-The computer burns off and falls onto the ground, along with other parts-

Olimar: This is serious dejavu.

-The Dolphin crashes into the planet surface-

Back at Day 1: The Impact site

Olimar: I must have passed out... OK!! This is very serious dejavu.

-Olimar knowing what is supposed to happen does everything in order to the part where the pikmin seed pops out-

-Olimar plucks the sprout-

Pikmin: Hi. I..

Olimar: I already know! just follow me now!

-Olimar tells the pikmin to pick up the pellets-

Olimar: Hmm...Wait a minute. I'm dreaming... I'm still a pikmin!

Olimar wakes up only to fall into a time portal taking him into the dawn of time! Or is it…

Olimar and his one Pikmin land back in the time of the ancient Pikmin. To Olimar's surprise these pikmin were 2X as tall as Olimar, and slightly fatter than their future counter parts (Which with their height made them look skinny). Olimar saw that they were 8 distinct different areas. He also saw that there was a Palace like spot near by. It had Pikmin creating pellets and planting pellet trees!

Olimar: I think I'll go to the black area.

-Inside the black area-

Pikmin 1: Look over there... could it be?

Pikmin 2: Yes it is! Our god has returned!

Olimar: God? I think you are mistaken...

-all the black Pikmin are bowing in front of Olimar-

Pikmin 1: Thank you for returning oh holy Aydaphystronrqetyulterniup!

Olimar: ...?

Pikmin 2: Yes! Now we can go on with our celebration!

-Some black Pikmin jump up and explode-

Olimar: Argh! It's those self-destructing Black ones again! Wait a minute... that means that I can self-destruct too!

Pikmin 3: Heya... I'm da smartest pikthingy in da club! hahaha

Pikmin 4: Na you're not. I am! hahaha -picks nose-

Olimar: I have to get out of here... I know! I'll self-destruct too!

Olimar self-destructed and is now lying in pieces. The other black pikmin picked up his pieces and turned him back into his regular pikmin form. They said that it was a ritual to blow up like that after their god has returned. Satisfied with their reply, Olimar went back to the Dolphin and blasted off. Unfortunately, he had to remember that the dolphin was not with him. The Dolphin that Olimar was riding disappeared in mid-flight and Olimar fell back into the world of Ancient Pikmin.

Olimar: Ow! Darn my Imagination!

After Olimar regrouped his pikmin, he was in front of three pathways. While Olimar was thinking which pathway to take, he found a big button.

Olimar: Wonder what this button does…

Olimar pressed the button, and three more buttons smaller than the big button emerged from the big button. Olimar decided to push the red button with the warning signs on it, making some weird laser cannon appear!

Olimar: Uh-oh…

Olimar gets zapped and... Gets turned back into his original form!!

Olimar: YES!! I'm normal again!!

-Olimar calls his Pikmin to his side-

Ancient Pikmin 1: AHH!! It's a person from Hocotate!

Ancient Pikmin 2: What is he doing to those children!!

Olimar: What?? Those are my pikmin. They follow me.

Ancient Pikmin 2: He's put them through Slavery!! Let's get him!!!

Olimar: Uh-oh...again… I know! I'll take off my helmet to beat them!

-Olimar chokes and puts helmet back on-

Olimar: Someday, it will work! I swear!!!

-The Ancient Pikmin slowly advance towards Olimar-

Olimar: Damn!! Let's see, hmm… Fight, Item, PiKMiN, or Run… I shall get out an item. Yes, this will do nicely...

Olimar uses Red Pellet to sprout five modern red Pikmin. The Pikmin join Olimar's side at the battle.

Ancient Pikmin 1 hits Olimar with a rock for 24 HP damage!

Olimar uses Helmet Head-butt on Ancient Pikmin 1 for 32 HP damage. The five red helpers pound Ancient Pikmin 1 for 55 HP damage!

Ancient Pikmin 2 summons a black Pikmin helper. The Pikmin joins the Ancient Pikmin's party."

Olimar uses Pikmin Toss against Ancient Pikmin 2. The Pikmin scores a perfect hit and causes 50 HP damage. The thrown Pikmin dies and Olimar now has 4 red helpers by his side.

Ancient Pikmin 1 throws his Black helper at Olimar. Black Pikmin uses self-destruct and causes 124 damage to Olimar!

Olimar uses Pikmin Toss on Ancient Pikmin 1. The Pikmin scores a near perfect hit for 40 HP damage. The thrown Pikmin dies and Olimar now has 3 red helpers by his side.

Ancient Pikmin 1 is defeated!

Ancient Pikmin 2 runs away

Olimar: That was a tough battle.

Another one of those strange time portals comes and takes Olimar to when he still was on Hocotate. His computer tells him to go he should go by that strange planet. "No!!!!!!! I'll crash and be stuck in a world with plant-animals who follow my every command, a giant emperor boss-thing with a pretty nasty fungal infection, and flowers that produce color-coded Pikmin food!!" The Computer says "You're a wimp Olimar!" Olimar replies, "I am not I'll go by that planet and show you I'm no scaredy cat!" Olimar goes and gets hit by a meteor "Not again…" Olimar does his normal things except no pikmin come out and he sees a black pikmin.

Black pikmin: Hi I'm the smartest pikmin.

Olimar: What's 1+1?

Black pikmin: 0

Olimar: you're useless pikmin.

Black pikmin: no. I'm very useful

Olimar: Oh really…

Olimar decided to use the black pikmin as fishing bait... the strange thing is it didn't attract fish... IT attracted Emperor Bulblax!!!

Bulblax: Huff-Puff... How many times do I have to go through this fanfic to huff-puff... Eat YOU!!!

Olimar: Fanfic??

Black Pikmin: Duh!! The fanfic on The fanfic named Pikmin: Random Stupidity!! Man you are stupid Olimar!!!

Olimar: I thought you were supposed to be stupid...

Black Pikmin: Oh Yeah!! I forgot... 1+1 equals 0!!! duhh...

Olimar: Well sorry Bulblax, what were we doing?

-Olimar gets eaten by Bulblax...again!-

Or did he...

Never mind he did.

Somewhere else…

Purple pikmin 1: We have no problem on taking over the world. The only problem is Olimar. Here now we're going to kill him. First take his helmet off. Then ripe his legs and arms out. Then take his eyeballs out and poke a hole in both of his eardrums. Then take his teeth out and then bring him to the purple onion then turn him into a purple pikmin.

Purple pikmin 2: Why not just take his helmet off?

Purple pikmin 1: Too easy, and the rest of the pikmin we shall…Well I don't know what we will do to them yet… Let's make them eat whatever is in that package!

Purple pikmin 2: But are you sure that is safe?

Purple pikmin 1: Yes! -Opens package and eats contents- Yuck!! What is that stuff?

Purple pikmin 2: I think that's what they call cheese…

-Screen starts to fade out -

Purple pikmin 1: Wait!!! We aren't done yet!!!

Purple pikmin 2: Would you just shut up!

-Screen fades out fully -

-Screen Fades in back at Olimar-

-Olimar jumps out of Bulblax, and Olimar doesn't look calm as usual..-

Olimar: YAHHH!!!! -Starts attacking Bulblax-

Back in the dolphin... A Pikmin is in his ship

Pikmin: Ooo!! It wouldn't hurt to fire the nova blaster while Olimar is gone would it? naw..

-Pikmin presses the button-

ZAP!!!

Back to Olimar... Bulblax's Life is on 1!

Olimar: One more hit!

-In slow-motion-

Olimar: YahhhHH!!

-camera goes to laser-

Olimar: AHHHHH!!

-Olimar is a few millimeters from hitting Bulblax when..-

Back at base...

Pikmin#1: Oh isn't nature nice?

Pikmin#2: Yeah..

-BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!-  
-NUKE!-  
-BURN!-  
-OVERKILL!!-  
-WHY?-  
-ANY WORD TO DESCRIBE A BIG EXPLOSION!!!-

Pikmin#1: Why did the sun become big for a second?

Pikmin#2: It didn't it was just a shot from the nova blaster.

Pikmin#1: Ok.

Back at where Olimar is supposed to be... Imagine the place being raided by 1,000,000 Bob-ombs. Where's Bulblax? Most Likely been vaporized. But what about Olimar?

-You see Olimar hit the front of your screen and continues falling down-

-A flash of light bursts out of the bottom of the screen-

Olimar Score -1  
Pikmin Score +1

GAME OVER

TriskaDeka: WHAT!! Whatever happened to the "Olimar is Down!" Message? Oh well. I'll just load my game.

-I load my game-

TriskaDeka: Huh? Olimar is Missing??

Shadowx6: Maybe I should load my game.

TriskaDeka: Fine with me…

Shadowx6 puts in his memory card and loads his data. He was on Day 29 with 29 ship parts!

5 minutes later…

TriskaDeka: What are you doing?

Shadowx6: Huh?

TriskaDeka: You've been moving the control stick in different directions for 5 minutes now. I don't think you can pollute the planet…

Shadowx6: …Oh fine then… -Goes to final trial-

At "The Final Trial"

Olimar: I wonder if I can stand back and shoot the nova blaster at Emperor Bulblax?

At the base.

Purple Pikmin 1: Cheese

Purple Pikmin 2: Aren't we suppose to plan on taking over the world?

Purple Pikmin 1: Lunch break.

Little did captain Olimar know, the purple pikmin are putting red pikmin in slavery.

Purple Pikmin 3: Milk the cows and while you at it, make cheese.

The red pikmin look at the six-foot cow.

Red pikmin: How am I suppose to milk that thing? I'm only few inches.

Purple Pikmin 3: Do it or get whip!

Olimar: I am going to beat you up!

Bulblax: Go away it my lunch break.

Olimar: Why are you eating my safe?

Bulblax: Safe? I thought it was pork…

Olimar: Now what I'm gonna pay the pizza guy with?

Pizza guy: Here you double cheese pizza with some barbecue sauce. That will be thirteen bucks!

Olimar: Oh you can use this Bulblax. Cut him up then use him as chunks for pizza.

So the pizza guy drag emperor Bulblax away.

Bulblax: Hey! What are you doing with me.

PG: I own you now. Now make pizza or I'll make you into pizza.

Olimar: Ah well, There's only 1 cent in the safe any way. Huh? What does this button do?

Olimar pushes the button. The button disappears and a portable springboard (The one in the Mario World Series) takes its place.

Olimar: Cool! I want to try it out!

-Olimar jumps on the board and..-

-BOING!!-

Olimar: AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

-Oh no it seems that the springboard bounced him back to a battle between Olimar and a Yellow Wollywog in an epic Earthbound RPG battle! -

Olimar is attacking the Yellow Wollywog.  
- Attack - Punch  
Yellow Wollywog  
- Attack - Squishy-Squishy  
Olimar  
- Escape Olimar tries to run away and is chased by the Yellow Wollywog! "AH!! No! Don't squish me!"  
The Yellow Wollywog keeps bouncing after Olimar, chasing him.

Olimar takes his time to look through PSI attacks. "Hmm..I was hurt a little so I'll use life up." He starts to charge up his PSI powers when the Yellow Wollywog suddenly squishes through the ground!

Video of him falling through the ground past weird alien fossils.

He notices that he's falling right into a time portal…again…

Olimar: Dammit!!

To be continued…is that right?

Grenade Guzzler: Nope. Everything past here was scripted. If it isn't random mayhem, it isn't worth reading.

Ah well. THE END!


	2. The Scripted Story

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Okay, here's the scripted continuation of the fanfic. Uploaded due to popular request. Gosh, this was a short note.

* * *

Olimar: Where am I? 

Computer: In the Dolphin, weakling! You've escaped the planet with all your dumb parts and we're heading off back home. Little do you know that this is the time for… PIKMIN 2!!!

-Dramatic drumroll-

Olimar: But it's still the same year! 2002! What gives?

-Drumroll stops-

Computer: Would you believe Nintendo actually worked extra-hard to release the two parts of the game in the same year?

Olimar: No.

Computer: Dang! I thought I had you there. Maybe you're not that weak after all… Nah.

Olimar: Okay… may as well drop in to see how the Pikmin are doing.

-On the Pikmin planet-

Olimar: Hello again!

Pikmin 1: Again? You left two minutes ago!

Olimar: Well, maybe I did. But I'm BACK!

Pikmin 1: You're back, eh? Well, you'll have to pass a few tests to prove yourself worthy of living with us, inferior life form!

Olimar: Inferior? Hey! I commanded you!

Pikmin 2: That is so last week. Come with me, smart guy.

-Inside the first testing chamber-

Pikmin 1: Here we are. Battle Simulator!

Olimar: Creepy.

Pikmin 2: We will test your Pikmin fighting abilities against random creatures. Let the testing begin!

-The room is sealed and the alarm sounds-

Alarm: Test 1. Commencing in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… Activate!

Olimar: Here they come!

-Five minutes later, Olimar has laid waste to two Dwarf Bulborbs, three Wogpoles, Eight Sheargrubs and a Water Dumple-

Olimar: This is all too easy!

-Where the Pikmin are-

Pikmin 1: He's not that bad!

Pikmin: Time to turn up the intensity!

-Where Olimar is-

Olimar: Huh? What's that?

Bulbax: You again! At last, I will have my revenge!

Olimar: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

-Olimar runs around for hours dodging Bulbax-

Olimar: Cant…go…much…longer… wheeze, cough, wheeze

Bulbax: This ends now!

Olimar: NOOOOO!!!!!!

-Just as Bulblax is about to eat Olimar, he trips, falls on his head and dies-

Pikmin 1: mouth hanging open How did he do that?

Pikmin 2: Well, he's not only proved that he's as good as us, he's proved better!

Pikmin 1: Show-off. We'll take him to the next test, where he will fail!

-The two Pikmin join up with Olimar-

Olimar: How'd I do?

Pikmin 1: Ummmmmm….. B plus!

Olimar: Yay!

Pikmin 2: Anyway, onto the second test. Heavy Lifting Simulator! See how many Pikmin you can grow in the span of ten minutes. Not enough will result in failure!

Olimar: Let's go!

-The door seals shut and the alarm sounds-

Alarm: Test 2. Commencing in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… Activate!

-Olimar is surrounded by literally hundreds of carcasses and ship parts-

Olimar: Okay, time to get to work…

-Olimar carries all the lightweight food back to the Onion-

Olimar: That wasn't any trouble. Now, what's next? Let's see… Breadbug, Dwarf Bulborbs and Bulbears, 5 pellets, Water Dumples… this shouldn't be too hard!

-Olimar carries all of them back to the Onion with a little trouble-

Olimar: Phew! Those are heavier than they look. Okay, Bulborbs, Armored Cannon Beetles, Gluon Drive, Heavy things, cardboard boxes, stone gates… ugh…

-Eight minutes later, the test is over-

Pikmin 1: Test over! How many new sprouts did you manage to grow?

Olimar: 251!

Pikmin 1: And what's the passing grade for this test?

Pikmin 2: 250.

Pikmin 1: …

Olimar: What? I did it? Yeah! Not so inferior, am I?

Pikmin 1: You lucky piece of turd…

Olimar: Huh?

Pikmin 2: Er, what he means to say is that you must now pass the final test. The Obstacle Course!

Olimar: Obstacle Course? I love those!

Pikmin 2: We'll see, we'll see…

-Door to the Obstacle Course closes, alarm sounds-

Alarm: Test 3. Commencing in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… Activate!

Olimar: THIS is the obstacle course? It's just passing through a hole in the wall!

-Olimar goes through hole, and sees the real obstacle course-

Olimar: Oh my…

-Back where the two Pikmin are-

Pikmin 1: Here's the map to the course. After entering the course, Sir. Lucky must go through the fire geysers, past a group of hungry Woolywogs, avoid being stomped by a herd of Beady Long Legs, run up the spiral staircase, jump on top of a Spotty Bulborb to reach the next platform, bomb a 9-bomb gate with 9 bomb-rocks before the squadron of Shearwigs reaches him, run on a Cliffside without getting blown over the edge by a Puffy Blowhog, then get past the Lair of the Snagrets before crossing the finish, which is guarded by a couple of Fiery Blowhogs.

Pikmin 2: Whoa man, that's intense.

Pikmin 1: Not only that, he must finish under 15 minutes! Think he can do it?

Pikmin 2: Two words: Wollywog Bait.

-Back where Olimar is-

Olimar: Okay, now if I time perfectly, I should get through those geysers with no trouble at all. Let's see… Aha! 1, 2, 3!

-Olimar charges through the field of fire without a scratch-

Olimar: Well, that was easy. Now to get past these frogs. I have to look for a weakness in their patterns… doesn't seem to be one. Wait a sec… this is located right over a cliff side! I know what to do now!

-Olimar runs just at the edge of the cliff and lures the Woolywogs over-

Olimar: Come here! Yes, that's a good woolywoggie! Come on now… Ha! Fooled you!

-Olimar watches the entire group jump and jump until they miss and fall over the cliff-

Olimar: Yes! Olimar score, 2! Pikmin score, 0! Now, how to get past these Beady Long Legs? Hmm, they're only four, so it shouldn't be too hard to outsmart them!

-Olimar notices the BLL's are sleeping-

Olimar: What the heck? Okay… this is easy. I'll just walk through the whole thing. Now, I have to go up that spiral staircase? Fine, here I go!

-Olimar runs up the staircase only to arrive face-to-face with a Bulborb at the top-

Bulborb: Let me guess: You want to go up there?

Olimar: Yes, could you give me a lift?

Bulborb: Normally I'd eat you, but I've got a bit of a stomach cramp, so just jump on my back and go up there.

Olimar: Will do!

-Olimar climbs up onto the Bulborb and jumps onto the next platform-

Olimar: Here we are. A stone gate? 9 bomb-rocks? Okay… let me think… ah yes. I throw them!

-Olimar begins throwing the bombs at the gate when he sees a massive amount of Shearwigs flying towards him-

Olimar: Oh dangit…

-Olimar, realizing he doesn't have enough time left, throws a bomb at some of the bugs. They go flying towards the gate in flames and hit it with such force that the wall shatters-

Olimar: Yes! Now, to continue!

Puffy Blowhog: Who's that coming over here? Ah! Another victim for me to blow off the cliff! Wait for it…

Olimar: Oh! A narrow cliff side! A Puffy Blowhog! He'll blow me right over! I have to make a run for it… Now!

Puffy Blowhog: Time it… Now!

-The Blowhog blows Olimar right over the cliff-

Olimar: Oh great. Hey, hi Pikmin!

Pikmin 1: Huh? ARGH! STOP!!!

-Olimar crashes right through the glass where the Pikmin are-

Pikmin 2: Ow… my head…

Pikmin 1: This is a serious violation of our course!

Olimar: But it wasn't me! It was the Blowhog!

Pikmin 1: How dare you accuse Puffy! Why, I ought a gut you like a trout!

-Before Pikmin 1 can do anything, another Pikmin comes in with an important message-

Pikmin 3: Sir! Sir!

Pikmin 1: What is it?

Pikmin 3: -gasp- Bulborbs! Bulborbs are eating all of us! Millions of them!

Olimar: Aw crap, not them again! I believe you... Really I do... Well, I would be in the mood to talk but I'm sleepy so, later! -closes door- Hey What are you all doing here?

Friends: "Come on TriskaDeka...Let sing the Hamtaro ending song!"

-Opens door, rushes out, and closes door quickly-

Okay...Looks like I'll be awake for a while...

**-Click-  
-Rewinding sounds**-

* * *

**Intermission: Olimar's Mission**

Olimar: -comes into a strange room- Huh? Where am I?

TriskaDeka: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Friends: Come on! Our Hamtaro Fanfic isn't that bad!

TriskaDeka: There is only one hope now... -runs into the nearest door-

Friends: Come out and play TriskaDeka... -opens door- Huh? What are you doing?

TriskaDeka: Playing Pikmin.

Friends: Cool! Can we play after you?

TriskaDeka: Sure!

And so TriskaDeka and his friends played Challenge mode for a few hours. They turned out to be very good on their first try and they all beat TriskaDeka's Records. TriskaDeka getting tired of scores of 291 while her friends are getting 400+ in The Forest of Hope, decided to leave and continue to wait for Grenade Guzzler's Decisi-

-WHACK-

"You killed The Narrator (1)"

Olimar: Hmmph! Stupid narrator! This fanfic is supposed to be about me! Not the Author's problems with his friends!

And so Olimar decided to continue his adve-

-WHACK-

"You killed A vehicle (2)"

Olimar: ...Big Stupid!...

-Somewhere in the sky...-

_Hey! Remember the blue Pikmin that got killed by the red Pikmin from his rocket launcher? Lets go back to him..._

Blue Pikmin: Oh boy. When I get my hands on him. I swear.. Huh?

-From out of nowhere, Ganondorf jumped and meteor smashed him back down.-

Ganondorf: Stupid Pikmin! Stay in your own game!

_Well...That was pointless...Back to Olimar..._

Olimar: What was the point of that? Stupid Authors!

TriskaDeka: HEY!!

Olimar: What!?

TriskaDeka: Watch your mouth! Do you know what would happen if Grenade Guzzler heard that!?

Olimar: No. Tell me!!

TriskaDeka: I'm not telling you!

Olimar: Well what is the point of this? This isn't even part of the story!!

TriskaDeka: -Sighs- Fine. You want story? You got it. -Snaps finger and dissapears-

Olimar: Wait!! Wha-

TriskaDeka: Hehehe...Freeze Frame always gets them... Okay! Your decision Grenade Guzzler!

**End intermission!**

* * *

Pikmin 1: Bulborbs? I thought we killed them all! 

Pikmin 3: Apparently not. There's a massive amount that's attacking all of our Onions!

Pikmin 2: Even the green, orange and black ones???

Pikmin 3: Um, yeah. Although the ones who eat the black ones explode a short time thereafter.

Olimar: They explode… aha! Those are the ones that self-destruct! Maybe we can use them against those fiends!

-Olimar, Pikmin 1, 2 and 3 go outside the Obstacle Course chamber only to find the whole land devastated-

Pikmin 1: WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!?!?!

Pikmin 4: Um, well, one of the Bulborbs took a chunk out of the black Onion, then started to run all over the place. Eventually, the massive explosion that took place inside him was so powerful that it destroyed the orange and green Onions. We're not doing so well here.

Olimar: Hey! Hey, don't you remember me?

Bulborb #1: Yeah, I do. You killed our emperor, so we have to kill you. Fair?

Olimar: No.

Bulborb #1: Too bad. Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaarge!

Pikmin 1: All Pikmin, retreat! Get those Onions into the sky, pronto!

-The blue, red and yellow Onions go off into space, while the crippled black one remains-

Bulborb #1: We're running this outfit now! Your kingship, you may advance now?

Bulblax: I'm not a king. I'm an emperor!

Olimar: What the… I killed you!… about three times!

Bulblax: You just don't get it, do you. The author of this fanfic chose to give life to me again. He's our god! You can't stop him!

Olimar: WHAAAAAT??? I'll get you, Grenade Guzzler!

Grenade Guzzler: Huh? Okay, rewind.

-The entire scene rewinds-

Bulblax: You just don't get it, do you. I can be cloned!

Olimar: But… you're the only Emperor Grub-dog on this planet!

Bulborb #1: Shall we show him the birth chamber?

Bulblax: Yes. we will. Olimar, and you four Pikmin, come with me. I'm going to show you something.

Olimar: Will it have food? I'm getting hungry.

Pikmin 2: Idiot…

-Bulblax carries the five to his secret genetic lab-

Bulblax: You see, every day, one of our Bulborbs gets a DNA change. We put him through this machine thingy, and after a while, a seed is planted on his back. Once it grows, he will become a massive size and will adapt the tongue lash and the huge jumping ability. In other words, I'll be born again!

Olimar: Uh, what about the Bulbears?

Bulblax: They're suckers. Anyway, now that you know our secret. We can't let the planet stay alive. Bulborbs! Attack all Pikmin grounds and eat to your heart's content!

All Bulborbs: YEAH!!!

Bulborb #1: Huh? Oh crap, I'm slipping on something!… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh--------…

-Bulborb #1 falls and lands inside Bulblax's cloning machine-

Bulblax: Well, this'll take a while. Bulborb #2, you're the leader.

Bulborb #2: Yay!

Bulblax: Anyway, ATTACK!

Olimar: -backing up slowly- Well, um... Why don't we make a deal? -Noticing they are still approaching him- Oh well, Desperate time calls for desperate measures...

Olimar jumps into the cloning device escaping the Bulborb attack only to find in surprise when he landed to see a whole cafeteria not only with Bulborb # 1, it was full of Bulblaxes eating...

Olimar: Mashed potatoes and Gravy???

??????: Hey!!! You mind getting off my shell!

Olimar: Huh?

Olimar looks below him to see he is standing on a Bulblax's shell!

Olimar: Oops... sorry... -Gets off- Wait a minute... I thought you ate Pikmin?

Bulblaxes (all): We have to eat something else besides Pikmin you know!!!

Bulblax # 82: Yeah! Have you ever even eaten a Pikmin?

Olimar: Hmm... -thinking- Carrot?

All the Bulblaxes gasp.

Bulblax # 49: He just cussed in front of him!!

Olimar: What? I didn't know...

Outside...

-Olimar is seen flying from the top of the cloning machine hole-

Bulblaxes (all): Big Meanie!!

Olimar: -Notices the Bulborb army is sleeping- Well.. that worked... Might as well escape...What the!?

The only path not full of bulborbs in the way was the bridge, The only problem was there was no bridge. Just the outline of yellow blocks...

Olimar: WHY?

-10 minutes later...-

The Yellow Switch Palace (Well what do you know...)

Olimar: -Looks at the front door- Out of all the stupid things...

Blocking the entrance to The Yellow Switch Palace was a moat and a bridge with the outline of green blocks...

Olimar: Out of all the stupid things...

-Freeze-frame-

-A silhouette of a small-like creature is seen-

???????: Hello! I'm the guide for now since TriskaDeka has other problems to deal with currently... You probably are wondering who I am though... To anyone with that question, I am...

Hamtaro: Hamtaro! -Kushi-Kushi- I don't know why TriskaDeka wants me here, but for 1,000 sunflower seeds, this is a pretty good deal! -Clears throat- Now back to business, Whatever happened to those four Pikmin that were with Olimar? Will Olimar be able to get into any switch palace? Where the heck is TriskaDeka? How should I know? I'm just a cute hamster! But, I have instruction to give you the choice of what you really want. So with that...

-Hamtaro pulls out a ballot box-

Hamtaro: Pick whatever you want!

A. Whatever happened to those 4 Pikmin? (If you really want to know)  
B. Continue with this story. (If you don't care)  
C. Where the heck is TriskaDeka? (Must you really know? ) )

_This isn't a Choose Your Own Adventure anymore! Blah, what's wrong with you people?_

-Rewinding sounds-

Olimar: Out of all the stupid things...

-Screen fades out-

"4 hours ago..."

-Screen fades in-

Olimar: -backing up slowly- Well, um... Why don't we make a deal? -Noticing they are still approaching him- Oh well, Desperate time calls for desperate measures...

Olimar jumps into the cloning device escaping the Bulborb attack.

Red Pikmin 1: Wait what about us!?

Blue Pikmin: Umm... We got other problems...

The Bulborb army surrounded the four Pikmin. The army was slowly advancing towards them.

Yellow Pikmin: I got the perfect idea guys!

Pikmin (rest of them): Huh?

The Yellow Pikmin walked slowly towards the army and stopped right in front of Emperor Bulblax. The Yellow Pikmin cleared his throat and...

Yellow Pikmin: WHO stole the cookies from the cookie jar!? -Spins around, stops and points at Bulblax- YOU!

Bulblax: -Gets up- Who me?

Yellow Pikmin: Yeah YOU!

Bulblax: -nodding his head- Couldn't be!

Yellow Pikmin: THEN WHO???

Bulblax: Bulborb# 82192 stole the cookies from the cookie jar!

Yellow Pikmin: -To the other Pikmin- Now is our chance! RUN!

Bulborb #82192: Who me?

Bulblax: Yeah YOU!!

The rest of the Pikmin run away while the Bulborb army was arguing about who stole the cookies from the cookie jar.

"Later..."

Red Pikmin #2: That was genius! That was a great distraction!

Yellow Pikmin: I just didn't think it would work...

Blue Pikmin: Shouldn't we be planning how to escape from here?

Red Pikmin #1: Why? We're useless without Olimar!

The rest of the Pikmin look at Red Pikmin #1 in anger.

Red Pikmin #1: What? But we are!

The rest of the Pikmin grab Red Pikmin #1 and throw him off the cliff.

Red Pikmin: Now what do we do?

Blue Pikmin: Well, I have one idea that might work...

"At the Land of Ancient Pikmin..."

-The Three Pikmin come out of a time portal and land safely on the ground. Only the Yellow Pikmin was wearing a fake Bulborb costume.-

Yellow Pikmin: Are you sure this will work?

Blue Pikmin: Why are you asking so much? For the 53rd time, I'm sure this will work! Look, if you're so nervous, I'll do it.

-The Yellow Pikmin immediately took of the costume and threw it at the Blue Pikmin. Sighing heavily, he took a quick glance at the Red Pikmin.-

Red Pikmin: Don't look at me. I'm not doing it.

-The Blue Pikmin, after hearing this, put on the costume. He had a little trouble putting it on, but he was able to put it on fully after a few minutes.-

Blue Pikmin: Well...How do I look?

Red and Yellow Pikmin: AHHHHHH!!! Dwarf Bulborb!!!

-The Red and Yellow Pikmin immediately charged at the Blue Pikmin wearing the costume, constantly attacking him.-

Blue Pikmin: AHHHH!!! STOP!!!!!!

Red and Yellow Pikmin: -Stops Attacking- Sorry...

Blue Pikmin: -Smacks both Pikmin across the face- Well at least we know this costume is convincing... Now, keep the time portal open. I'm going to try to do this quick. Here I go!

-With that, The disguised Blue Pikmin ran towards the Main Area of the Ancient Pikmin World.-

"Ancient Land of Pikmin: Main Area"

-The Blue Pikmin runs towards the nearest Ancient Pikmin and tries to get it's attention by yelling at it.-

Ancient Pikmin: Go away! Shoo! Shoo! -Muttering- Stupid Bulborb...

Blue Pikmin: Darn! Well looks like I have no other choice...

-The disguised Blue Pikmin bites the Ancient Pikmin as hard as he could. The Ancient Pikmin, finally feeling the stinging sensation, jumped up in the air yelling...-

Ancient Pikmin: OOOOOUUUUCCCCCHHHH!!!!!!

-The Ancient Pikmin, infuriated, started to chase him. While the Blue Pikmin made a mad dash towards the time portal. Too bad for him that the Time Portal is about a few miles away...(Well for the Blue Pikmin of course.)-

Blue Pikmin: -Constantly Repeating- I don't want to die!! I don't want to die!! I don't want to die!!!! -Thinking to himself- The things I get myself into...

"Ancient Land of Pikmin: Main Area"  
Destination: "Time Portal: To the Bulborb Base" 482.6m

-Last time in Chapter 5, the Blue Pikmin wore a Bulborb costume and bit one of the Ancient Pikmin for who knows why. Now the Ancient Pikmin is pursuing him...-

Blue Pikmin: -While running- Okay! That was easy. Now to make sure he follows me back to the time portal...

-Just then the Blue Pikmin was thrown forward, violently hitting the floor. As he was staggering to get back up, he felt pieces of some substance landing around him and gently hitting him. He turned his head to find out that the Ancient Pikmin was throwing black Pikmin at him!-

Blue Pikmin: Oh man...

Ancient Pikmin: DIE!!!!!!!

-The Ancient Pikmin threw another black Pikmin at him. The Blue Pikmin dived out of the explosion's range just before it exploded. Even though he wasn't hurt, he could feel pieces of his costume getting torn from the force of the explosion. Quickly pushing off with his foot, he made a sprint to the point where he couldn't get hit by another black Pikmin.-

Waypoint: 293.6m  
Distance between him and the Ancient Pikmin: 98.3m

Blue Pikmin: -Gasping for air- Almost halfway there... Stupid Costume! -Turns his head- I didn't think it would work this well... HOLY...

-The Blue Pikmin quickly sidestepped out of the way of an arrow just before he could finish his sentence. Dashing forward again, he looked behind him to see the Ancient Pikmin in the distance holding a crossbow in his right hand while he was setting up another arrow with his left hand.-

Blue Pikmin: I wonder why we don't have the same technology as them... -Shakes his head- What am I saying!? -Watching as the Ancient Pikmin finished reloading- I just hope he isn't accurate...

-Looking behind him again, so he could dodge the incoming shot, he saw the Ancient Pikmin aim his crossbow at him. Instead of shooting though, he pressed a little button on his crossbow. Two extra arrow holders folded out from the middle already loaded.-

Blue Pikmin: Hmmph... Three arrows is not THAT much...

-Just then, the crossbow folded out more and more loaded arrow holders until there were about 50 of them, all pointed towards the Blue Pikmin.-

Blue Pikmin: Well, at least it couldn't get any worse...

-Just then, two rocket launchers appeared at the end of the crossbow.-

Blue Pikmin: Me and my big mouth...

-The Ancient Pikmin fired his crossbow, sending the barrage of arrows and both rockets hurdling towards the Blue Pikmin. In what seemed to be a few seconds, a huge explosion engulfed the whole area. The Ancient Pikmin rejoiced, thinking he killed the Bulborb that bit him, but as the smoked cleared, he found to his unpleasantness that...-

Ancient Pikmin: It's still ALIVE!?

-Yes it was! The Blue Pikmin hid behind a boulder just before the explosion, rendering him safe from the arrows. Even though the explosion engulfed the area, it seems that he didn't take that much damage.-

Waypoint: 47.6m

Red Pikmin: I wonder where he is...

Yellow Pikmin: Look! Over there! In the distance!

-In the distance, they saw the Blue Pikmin still in the Bulborb costume, but they were really surprised to see the Ancient Pikmin in pursuit of him.-

Blue Pikmin: RUN!!!!!

-The Red and yellow Pikmin jumped in the time portal immediately when the Blue Pikmin commanded them to. As he was getting close to the time portal, he was having more and more trouble running! He could feel the petals of his flower tearing apart...-

Blue Pikmin: OH NO!!! I think that last attack brought me back to my leaf stage!!

-Nervous, the Blue Pikmin looked behind him to see that the Ancient Pikmin was quickly catching up.-

Ancient Pikmin: STUPID BULBORB!!!!

Blue Pikmin: Oh what I would do for some honey right now... -Looks straight ahead again- Almost there... Here goes nothing...

-The Blue Pikmin dived into the time portal, followed by the Ancient Pikmin a few seconds later...-

"Bulborb Base"

Red Pikmin: It's a good thing those Bulborbs are asleep...

Yellow Pikmin: You could say that again...

Red Pikmin: It's a good thing those Bulborbs are asleep...

Yellow Pikmin: -Looking at the Red Pikmin in anger- Are you as dumb as your friend that we threw off the cliff??

Red Pikmin: No...

Yellow Pikmin: Then be quiet!!!

Red Pikmin: Okay... Okay...

-The Blue Pikmin, still in the costume, bursted out of the portal landing on the ground sideways... Forcing him to roll a little bit... Both Pikmin look at him for a little bit...-

Blue Pikmin: -Trying to get up- Well... What are you doing? Help me out of this costume... Quickly!!!

-Both Pikmin pull the Blue Pikmin out of the Bulborb costume.-

Blue Pikmin: Run for it!!!

-As they were heading to a hiding spot, all three glance as the Ancient Pikmin slowly came out of the time portal, still infuriated because he got bit. He slightly turned his head towards the left side to see all the Bulborbs and Bulblax asleep. Raging in anger, he decided to go on a killing spree...-

-While the three Ancient Pikmin were killing some of them, Bulblax wakes up

Bulblax: Hey! What do you think you're doing???

A. Pikmin 1: We're killing them all. Leave us alone.

Bulblax: I have no idea who you are, but this is for your own good!

-Bulblax sticks out his tongue and eats two out of the three.

A. Pikmin 1: That's it! Now I'm really angry! Time to take out my crossbow-of-death!

Bulblax: Crossbow? That's old technology! Take a look at this! This is called a... SHOTGUN!

A. Pikmin 1: Yeah... we have those...

-In all this commotion, the Bulborb army starts to wake up-

Bulblax: Um, were your friends rancid or something? I'm getting one huge stomachache.

A. Pikmin 1: Time to end this!

-A. Pikmin 1 fires his crossbow at Bulblax. It scores a perfect hit and he explodes into a million pieces.-

A. Pikmin 2: Eww, Bulblax guts. I am so getting out of here.

A. Pikmin 1: Agreed. I hate the future!

-The three Ancient Pikmin run back into the time portal.-

Bulborb #2: Sigh... order up Bulblax #1. He's our new emperor now.

"Bulblax Cafeteria"

Bulblax #1: Wow, it seems so good to finally complete the transformation.

Bulblax #45: Congratulations.

Olimar: Why do I get the feeling that I feel different?

Bulblax #1: Really I... hey, why is there a tube above me? It's sucking me up! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhh------

Bulblax #12: Hmm, I guess Bulblax #24 finally bit the dust.

"Bulborb Army"

Bulborb #2: What's taking so long?

-Bulblax comes flying out of a grass patch and lands on the terrain on his back, squashing a few careless Bulborbs in the process.-

Bulblax: Um... hi?

"Hiding Place"

Red Pikmin: Did you just see that?

Blue Pikmin: Yeah, we better do something, quick!

Yellow Pikmin: But what can we do? We're outnumbered like a million to one!

Red Pikmin: Hey, what's this? A nectar patch?

Blue Pikmin: LET ME AT IT! Mmm... it feels so good to be a flower again.

Yellow Pikmin: Hey, there's like 1000 globs of the stuff here! But we're already flowers!

Red Pikmin: I wonder what would happen if we ate the stuff nonstop...

-The three Pikmin eat every single glob of nectar. When they are all finished, they start to grow.-

Yellow Pikmin: Hey, we're growing!

Red Pikmin: I can see it now. Giant Pikmin Rules Planet!

Blue Pikmin: I see... we're the size of a quarter and we keep getting bigger.

Yellow Pikmin: We're now three yards tall and we've stopped growing.

Red Pikmin: Time to show those Bulborb punks who's boss!

"Bulborb Base"

-Two Bulborbs are guarding the entrance into the Bulborb base. Why? Well, because I had a vote...

"TriskaDeka's Room"

TriskaDeka: Okay, I need a guard because it's the only way I can advance the plot of this story. Um, Any volunteers?

-Nobody answers...-

Mario: -Coughs- Well, I would but I'm already reserved...

TriskaDeka: By WHO??

Mario: You... I'm still being used for "Mario and Kirby's Freaky Friday."

TriskaDeka: Oh... -Turns and looks at Hamtaro- How about you?

Hamtaro: Ummm, I'm not a Pikmin?

TriskaDeka: -slaps herself- I keep forgetting that... -Turns and looks at ShadowDemi-

ShadowDemi: I'm just your friend who likes to play Halo!! I don't know what I am doing here anyways!!

IzzyDiZZy: Yeah!! We were both in a middle of a 50-kill battle, so if you mind... GET US OUT OF HERE!!!!

TriskaDeka: Okay!! Okay!! You can both leave...

-Both of them leave TriskaDeka's room-

TriskaDeka: Now back to business... -Notices that everybody left- Huh? What? -Smacks herself with her C-Sorcerer's Cane- This is what I get for turning around... Huh? Who's that?

-Even though everybody left, there were two bulborbs still sitting down-

Bulborb #1: Hey! To get into the secret room first you have to enter this special code to get this secret key and then you press A and you get the secret character!

Bulborb #2: OH!! SO THATS HOW!!! I've been trying to that for ages!

TriskaDeka: BOTH OF YOU!!! You're going to be the guards in the story. Okay?

Both Bulborbs: But we don't wanna!!

TriskaDeka: -Evil Anime face- I said... YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT!!!!

Both Bulborbs: Make us!!!

-This following event has been censored by the National Community of Annoying Censors to Ruin the Good Parts of Most Stories Association-

"Bulborb Base...Again"

Bulborb #2: I still don't know how she was able to make us do this job...

Bulborb #1: I think she casted MEGID on you too many times...

Bulborb #2: SHUT UP!!! At least I wasn't the one hit with a double-cast of Ultima!!!

Bulborb #1: Why you no good...Oh my...

Bulborb #2: What? -Turns around- i knew I should've ran away when I had the chance...

-As both Bulborbs started to run away, The now super-powered giant Pikmin busted through the entrance and headed towards the cliffs where the others Bulborbs are sleeping...-

"Bulborb Base: Cliffs to Secondary Exit"

Both Bulborbs: BULBLAX, BULBLAX!!! GIANT PIKMIN!!!

Bulblax: -Waking up- Hu-bu-Wha? -Turns to see the three giant Pikmin- What the...

-As the whole army was backing up towards the edge of the cliff, All three Pikmin busted through the whole base with relative ease. As all the bulborbs were now quivering in fear, helpless, All three Pikmin slowly approached the Bulborbs to kick them off the cliff when...-

"WAIT!!!!!"

All Three Pikmin: -Turning around- what was that?

-From out of nowhere, An ancient Pikmin came out of some time portal and landed right by the three, all equal in size and shape.-

Ancient Pikmin: -Clears throat- You stole our idea!!!

All three Pikmin: WHAT!?

Ancient Pikmin: -takes out some papers- We copyrighted that idea!! AND YOU stole it!!! Do this again and I'll sue you for everything YOU GOT!!!

All three Pikmin: -Looking around in circles- But we have no valuables...

Ancient Pikmin: Oh fine then, I'm out of here... And by the way, -takes out a ray and shoots all three Pikmin shrinking them again- And don't do it again!

-The Ancient Pikmin jumps right back into the time portal, as all the bulborbs watch as he disappeared they refocused their attention back on the three Pikmin...-

Bulblax: GET THEM!!!!!

-All of them start charging wildly towards the three of them-

Blue Pikmin: RUN!!

TriskaDeka: AHHHHHHH!!!!!! WAIT!!!!!!

-Freeze-frame-

TriskaDeka: My GAME!!! WHO took my Super Monkey Ball 2!!!

"Flashback: TriskaDeka's Room"

TriskaDeka: Okay!! Okay!! You can leave...

-Both of them leave the room-

-PART YOU DIDN'T GET TO SEE!! )-

-ShadowDemi reenters the room unnoticed and takes TriskaDeka's Super Monkey Ball 2. He laughed evilly for a while then left the room unnoticed again-

"Flashback is over"

TriskaDeka: Why that no good... um, Grenade Guzzler?

Grenade Guzzler: Yes...

TriskaDeka: Would you mind doing the rest while I get my game back...

Grenade Guzzler: Well I don't know... -Continue from here Grenade Guzzler and Good Luck!-

"Bulborb Base"

Bulblax: I have no idea what just happened here. But I'll eat you anyways.

Mysterious Voice: Not so fast, Bulblax! I have come to stop you!

Bulblax: Oh? And who just might you be?

Mysterious Voice: I am... Captain Olimar!

Bulblax: YOU again?

-Olimar comes out of the same chute that new Bulblaxes come out of. Everyone gasps as they see a half-Olimar half-Bulblax beast.-

Olimar: Now I will... hey, cut that out! My name isn't Olimar! It's Oliblax!

Grenade Guzzler: Fine.

-REWIND-

Oliblax: Now I will kill every single one of you for trying to destroy our base!

Bulblax: This is such a mockery! I'll beat you with one leg broken!

Oliblax: Okay.

-Oliblax cracks Bulblax's right leg so it's nothing but a dangling sack of crushed bone.-

Bulblax: I didn't mean that literally of course. -backs up-

Oliblax: This is going to be sweet.

-Oliblax punches Bulblax in the face a few times, picks him up and tosses him into the pit.-

Bulblax: -thud- Now how am I going to get out of here?

R. Pikmin 1: A visitor! Finally!

Bulblax: -gulp- What did you say? I can't hear you because I just swallowed you.

/worst joke ever

"Bulbear Base"

Bulbear #1: You may have recalled that back in chapter 5, Bulblax mentioned that we were suckers. We will not tolerate this kind of behaviors. Therefore, we will use our superior intelligence, numbers and power to overwhelm them. Are we going do to this or not?

All Bulbears: YEAH!!! E EQUALS MC SQUARED!!!

Bulbear: I really need to get a new motto.

-The Bulbear Army charges out and heads for the Bulborb Base.-

"Bulborb Base"

Oliblax: Any else of you want a piece of me?

Bulborb #2: Take this!

-Bulborb #2 bites Oliblax on the posterior area.-

Olimar: OW! YOU HURT ME! Now I'm in pain!... Oh no, I'VE LOST MY OLIBLAX POWERS!

Bulborb #2: Serves you right.

Bulborb #235: Sir! Rampant Bulbears approaching from the north!

Bulborb #2: Great.

"Hiding Place"

R. Pikmin: We're doomed.

Y. Pikmin: I agree. We're doomed.

B. Pikmin: There's gotta be some more nectar around here somewhere.

R. Pikmin: Forget it. We _are _doomed.

Bulborb #2: Order up a new Bulblax, pronto!

-The new Bulblax cycle comes through again.-

Bulblax: Yeah, what do you need?

Bulborb #2: Get those Bulbears!

Bulblax: Yeah, sure.

-The Bulbear army continues to charge even though Bulblax is coming towards them.-

Bulbear #1: Emperor Bulblax! So nice to see you.

Bulblax: I'm going to squash every single one of you!

Bulbear #1: Oh no you don't. Come, my Emperor!

-A rock beside the Bulbear army starts to shake. It is then launched miles into the air and out from the hole comes...-

**EMPEROR BEARBLAX! **

Bearblax: **Bulblax! How dare you disturb my assault crew! **

Bulblax: They were threatening to kill my entire Bulborb army!

"Hiding Place"

-While the two Emperors are arguing, Olimar comes across the Pikmin hiding place.-

Olimar: Oh, I found you!

R. Pikmin: We need to get out of here before they spot us!

Y. Pikmin: Should we try to sneak out?

B. Pikmin: Yeah, but where can we go? It's a dead end in here and the Bulborb army is just outside.

Olimar: I'll tell you when he cuts back to the battlefield.

"Grubdog Battlefield"

Bearblax: **So it's settled. Our armies duke it to the finish! **

Bulblax: Yeah... hey, why does he get big bold text??? I'm getting ripped off here!

-OUT TO LUNCH-

Bulblax: Fine. I don't need your _stupid text... hey, I can talk in italics now! In your face, Bearblax! _

Bearblax: **Bold beats italics any day. Anyways, let's just see our armies fight, all right?**

Bulblax: _These italics and bold letters are giving me a headache. Can't we just talk normally? _

Bearblax: Fine.

"Grubdog Battlefield"

-The Bulborbs and Bulbears are already fighting. A few carcasses lie in the action while they give the ongoing slaughter.-

Bulbear #1: This is going to be sweet. Prepare to perish!

Bulborb #2: Not on my watch!

-Bulborb #2 and Bulbear #1 begin to charge at each other when the screen suddenly freezes.-

"Hiding Place"

Olimar: I knew this hacking device would work! Those Bulborbs are frozen in their tracks.

R. Pikmin: Great. Now, how do we get out of here?

Olimar: Not to worry. I know an escape route. All we need to do is... hey, don't fade out on me! NO!!!!!!!!!!!

"Grubdog Battlefield"

-While the Bulborbs and Bulbears remain frozen, Bulblax and Bearblax walk out.-

Bulblax: Uh, why isn't anyone moving?

Bearblax: Someone must have messed up the space-time continuum.

Bulblax: Maybe a little kick would get them started again?

Bearblax: **DON'T TOUCH THEM!!! **If you break the lock, a black hole will be created at that exact spot!

-Suddenly, Olimar and the 3 Pikmin come out from behind the two emperors.-

Olimar: Aw crap.

Bulblax: Huh? Aha! It's you!

Bearblax: No time for them. We've got to figure out who did this!

Olimar: -whistling, backing away slowly-

R. Pikmin: Uh... HE did it! -Points to Olimar-

Olimar: Who me?

Bulblax: I knew it all along! Now you're going to die!

B. Pikmin: Huh? I wonder what would happen if I did this...

-The Blue Pikmin hits one of the frozen Bulbears. The time lock breaks and a black hole is formed.-

Olimar: It's sucking us in!

Bearblax: There's no escaping it! We're done for!

Y. Pikmin: I've wasted my life. I've wasted my life.

R. Pikmin: Ditto.

-Olimar, the three Pikmin and the two emperors get sucked in and emerge in...

-After being sucked through the black hole, Olimar, the three Pikmin and the two Emperors emerge in...-

Olimar: Where are we?

R. Pikmin: You mean we're not dead?

B. Pikmin: Guess not.

Bulblax: Hey, where are we?

Olimar: Wait a sec... What are we doing back in that blasted obstacle course?

Bearblax: No idea.

Olimar: Heyyyyy... isn't that me?

Alarm: Commencing in 3... 2... 1... Activate!

Past Olimar: Oh my...

R. Pikmin: Hey, that is you!

Past Olimar: What the? Why am I up there? With three Pikmin? And Bulblax??? And... Something I've never seen before?

Bearblax: Something?

-Meanwhile, where the two Pikmin are-

Pikmin 1: He must... hey, what's going on out there?

Pikmin 2: Hey, it's Olimar! And some more Pikmin! And Bulblax! And... some other thing.

Pikmin 1: We better call security.

-Back to where the others are-

Past Olimar: So you're me from two days in the future?

Olimar: Yep.

Past Olimar: Cool! What happens two days from now?

R. Pikmin: Uh...

Bulblax: There's too many Olimars!

Y. Pikmin: There's only two.

Bulblax: Bah!!!

-Bulblax eats the Past Olimar-

Olimar: YOU IDIOT! Now I don't exist anymore!!!

-Olimar vanishes-

Pikmin 1: Hey! You up there! What have you done with Olimar?

Bulblax: Ummmmmmmmmm...

Pikmin 2: Security! Get them!

-About a thousand Black Pikmin are approaching them-

Bulblax: Listen! I can explain!!!

Pikmin 1: Yeah, right. Get them!

-Some of the black Pikmin launch themselves at Bulblax and explode.-

Bulblax: -health at 1- Hey, why do you hurt me more than those bomb-rock thingies?

Black Pikmin #346: Alcohol! We drink lots of -hiccup- beer and twelve-brewed -hiccup- scotch before we attack. It makes the boom bigger!

Pikmin 2: Eh? And where did you get that?

Black Pikmin #789: From a fridge of -hiccup- course!

Pikmin 1: You mean **OUR **fridge?!?!

Bulblax: Can I go now?

Black Pikmin #12: KAMIKAAAAAAAAAAAZE!!!

R. Pikmin: He's a goner.

-The black Pikmin is inches away from Bulblax's face when suddenly it disappears into thin air-

Bearblax: Eh? Where'd that Pikmin go?

-More black Pikmin start to disappear in thin air-

Pikmin 1: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE???

-Meanwhile, on the other side of the planet...-

Wollywog: It is now time for us to commit suicide. Goodbye cruel world!

-Back to the Pikmin-

Pikmin 2: This isn't normal! They're not even exploding! They're just vanishing!

-Another Pikmin storms in the obstacle course-

Pikmin 3: BOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Pikmin 1: What now?

Pikmin 3: I got word that there's a huge amount of Wollywogs that are committing suicide on the other edge of the planet. That's why your Pikmin are disappearing!

Pikmin 2: Explain.

Pikmin 3: Well, everyone knows the Wollywog gli  
-Pikmin 3 vanishes into thin air. More black Pikmin vanish-

Bulblax: The Wollywog gli? Glitter? Glicko?

B. Pikmin: Glicko?

Bulblax: Well, I had to make up something.

Pikmin 1: The Wollywog gli... gli... OH NO!!! THE WOLLYWOG GLITCH!!!

Y. Pikmin: -gasp- We're all going to die!!!

Bulblax: Not me.

Bearblax: Not me.

Pikmin 2: Shut u  
-vanishes-

Pikmin 1: This is NOT good.

Bulblax: Oh will you stop crying? I'm getting a headache!

Pikmin 1: No, I'm not crying about the Pikmin vanishing! I've never been scared once in my life. I hate this feeling!

R. Pikmin: Well, we need to make our last hours worthwhile.

Y. Pikmin: I've kept this secret from you too long, Bearblax.

Bearblax: Oh? And that is?

Y. Pikmin: -slow, deep voice- _**Bearblax... I am your father. **_

Bearblax: Wha??? That's... not possible!!! My father is a Pikmin!

Y. Pikmin Relax, it was  
-vanishes-

Bearblax: It was what??? Gah!!!

-What Y. Pikmin meant to say: _Relax, it was a joke. _-

Bulblax: I don't know how much more of this I can take!

B. Pikmin: Imagine, if Olimar hadn't come back in chapter 4, none of this would have happened...

R. Pikmin: I agree with you.

-The last of the remaining black Pikmin vanish. There is an eerie silence in the course-

Pikmin 1: So... what should we do now?

B. Pikmin: Pray.

Pikmin 1: Nah. If only we could go back in time...

Bulblax: Hey! I picked up Olimar's hacking thingy along the way. We could use it to create another black hole!

B. Pikmin: Bulblax! You're a genius! -cough-copycat-cough-

R. Pikmin: But who do we freeze in time?

-Everyone looks at Bearblax-

Bearblax: What is it? Have I gained weight?

Pikmin 1: Er, Bearblax, do you mind sacrificing yourself so that all of Pikminkind can be saved?

Bearblax: Sacrifice myself? Never!

R. Pikmin: -to Bulblax- _Psst... Just fire at him. _

Bearblax: This is outrageous! I will not...

-Bearblax is frozen in time.-

R. Pikmin: Nice shot. Now let's hit this sucker and see what happ  
-vanishes-

B. Pikmin: Let's do this!

-B. Pikmin hits the frozen Bearblax and a black hole forms-

Bulblax: Not agaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!!!

-After being sucked through a second black hole, the two Pikmin and Bulblax are thrown into a very dark room-

Pikmin 1: Where are we?

Bulblax: No idea. I can't see heck.

???: Approach.

B. Pikmin: What? Who said that?

???: Er, someone. Anyways, I'm here to answer any 3 questions you want. After that I'll spit you out somewhere.

Bulblax: Ooh! Me first! What's the capitol of Tennessee???

???: Nashville.

Pikmin 1: -hits Bulblax- You idiot! That question was totally worthless! Why can't you keep your mouth shut?

???: It is done.

Bulblax: -mumble mumble-

Pikmin 1: Aw crud, PLEASE don't tell me I used up the second question.

???: Yep, you did. You have one more left.

B. Pikmin: When will this fanfic end?

???: When Grenade Guzzler decides to end it. You've used up all your questions, so out you go!

-The three are sucked into yet another black hole and they appear...-

Pikmin 1: Where are we?

B. Pikmin: I can see some thin streaks of light coming out from the roof...

Bulblax: -mumble mumble-

Pikmin 1: Hey! I'm on some sort of disc thingy.

B. Pikmin 1: Hey, I see a P and a I on the disk...

Pikmin 1: You don't suppose this is...

Bulblax: -mumble mumble-

B. Pikmin: We're standing on top of our Pikmin CD!!!

Pikmin 1: Hey, there's a HUGE smudge on the disk here.

B. Pikmin 1: If we can clean it then return to our game, maybe everything will be back to normal!

-Suddenly the roof opens up-

Person: What the??? Why are there two Pikmin and Bulblax on my CD???

Bulblax: -mumble mumble-

B. Pikmin: Holy crud.

Pikmin 1: We better get out of here!

-The two Pikmin and Bulblax sink into the CD-

Pikmin 1: Too bad... we're still in the glitchy game.

Bulblax: -mumble mumble- important to tell you -mumble-

Pikmin 1: What?

B. Pikmin: Well now we know why this fanfic isn't normal.

-When the characters see where they are, they notice Olimar-

Pikmin 1: Olimar! I thought you died!

Olimar: Nope, that was my cousin, Alimar!

B. Pikmin: But Alimar was eaten... ah forget it. Let's just figure out how to restore order to this fanfic once and for all!

GG: Stop that. I like the fanfic the way it is. Now don't mention this again or I'll erase your character so fast it'll make your leaf spin.

B. Pikmin: Sorry.

-The two Pikmin re-united with Olimar (Bulblax is nowhere to be seen), they chat with the captain.-

Olimar: Where'd you guys come from anyways?

Pikmin 1: Uh, from the sky?

Olimar: Good enough for me.

B. Pikmin: How are things?

Olimar: Not very good. It seems there's a gang of rampant Bulbears amok who continue to complain about some "Bearblax" being murdered.

Pikmin 1: But how? They couldn't have remembered this, let alone escape from the black hole... how???

Olimar: Black hole?

B. Pikmin: Long story.

-Suddenly three Bulbears approach them-

Bulbear #1: HEY! It's those two Pikmin again! They broke the time lock!

Bulbear #2: EMC2!!! EMC2!!! EMC2!!! EMC2!!! EMC2!!! -smack-

Bulbear #3: We have no time for your Einstein, #2!

Olimar: Time lock??? What the hell is going on here???

Bulbear #1: No time to explain. You murdered Bearblax as well, didn't you?

Pikmin 1: Murdered? No, he's just stuck in another dimension.

Bulbear #2: Impossible! Another dimension would mean that insert hard to understand garbage here

Bulbear #3: If you open your mouth one more time, you'll be missing three squared of your body fat.

Bulbear #2: I'll be good.

B. Pikmin: Honestly! We didn't murder Bearblax!

Bulbear #1: You did something to him. For that, you must be punished!

-Bulbear #1 rushes forward and eats B. Pikmin and Pikmin 1-

Olimar: Gah! Why'd you eat them? They've been around in this story for quite a while you know!!!

Bulbear #1: Ask Grenade Guzzler. He made me do it!

Olimar: No way! He stinks and he's a crackpot!

GG: Excuse me? Time to get out my old friend, the "eraser"

Olimar: NO!!!!!!!!! I'm sorry!!!

GG: That's better.

Bulbear #1: Let's just go.

-Bulbears #1, 2 and 3 head off-

Olimar: Well _that _was weird. I better follow him... but I'll need backup.

-Olimar withdraws 100 flowered red Pikmin and secretly follows the Bulbear army home-

Olimar: So THAT's where they live. A secret bunker in the Distant Spring! I should have realized it a long time ago!

Red 12: Really?

Red 35: What are we gonna do now?

Olimar: We'll find out what they're up to. If I'm lucky I'll even find out tho this Bearblax character is.

-As Olimar and his 100 Pikmin watch from above, Bulbear #1 explains his plan.-

Bulbear #1: As you might think, some mysterious characters have pushed Bearblax beyond the point of returning. For this, we must destroy them!

Bulbear #24: How?

Bulbear #1: With THIS!

-A curtain opens. A huge metal object appears from behind them-

Bulbear #5: What is THAT?

Bulbear #1: Not really sure. I found it buried in the ground a few days ago.

-Meanwhile, Olimar sees the top of the metal object-

Olimar: Hmm, I can see the words "atomic" and "bomb". Just what is an atomic bomb? Guess I'll find out soon enough.

Red 61: Hmm... why does that ring a bell...

-Flashback to the Pikmin History Course (PHC)-

-Back to reality-

Olimar: Yes, what is it!

Red 61: That's an atomic bomb.

Red 13: Well duh! Can't you read?

Red 61: I recall that it was used to end World War II by blowing up Japan, whatever that was.

Olimar: Yes, but what does it mean???

-Back to the Bulbears-

Bulbear #2: I've been studying this device, and I've come to the conclusion that it's a weapon of mass destruction, and I mean MASS. It'll destroy everything within a kilometer radius!

-All the Bulbears gasp-

Bulbear #56: Whoa! That's like... 496 miles for us!

Bulbear #2: If we plan to use it, we'd better be prepared to go with it.

-Back to Olimar-

Olimar: Oh, I heard everything. That bomb can destroy us all!

Bulbear #1: Eh? I thought I heard some voices...

Bulbear #46: Look! Up there!

Olimar: Aw crap, they've spotted me!

Bulbear #1: They've been spying on us!

Olimar: Run away!!!

-As Olimar and the 100 Pikmin run away, Red 61 trips and breaks his leg-

Red 61: Argh! Help me!

-Unfortunately, Olimar and the rest of the reds are far away and cannot hear the cry for help-

Bulbear #1: There's one of them!

Red 61: Uhh... don't eat me? Please?

Bulbear #2: Illogical. -eats Red 61-

-Meanwhile, back at the base-

Olimar: Phew, we barely made it out of there alive.

Red 56: I'll say!

Olimar: Hey, wait a sec, the counter on the bottom of the screen says "099"... Aw crap! We lost one!

Red 82: Where's Red 61???

Olimar: Oh this is just **PERFECT. **We lost the only Pikmin on the team who knew anything about that weapon.

-The Bulbears catch up with Olimar-

Bulbear #1: You know about our weapon. Now we can't let you get away.

Olimar: What to do???

???: Surrender, vile Bulbears!

Bulbear #1: What? Who said that? I demand that you show yourself!

-??? happens to be a yellow Pikmin!-

Yellow 1: It's time to finish you off!

Bulbear #1: Yeah right, you and what army?

-Suddenly hundreds of yellows appear out of nowhere, each one carrying a bomb-rock-

Yellow 1: This one. ATTACK!

-All the Yellows throw their bombs at the Bulbears-

Bulbear #45: OW! It hurts!

Bulbear #1: You haven't seen the last of me! -runs away-

-After a few minutes, the smoke clears. The field is covered with dead Bulbears-

Olimar: Uh, thanks for the help, I guess.

Yellow 1: Just doing my job.

Red 56: What are we going to do with all these dead Bulbears?

Olimar: We take them back and make more of us. What else?

-The reds and yellows carry back the Bulbear carcasses. Meanwhile, back another dimension...-

Bearblax: Must... try to move... -crack-

-Bearblax somehow breaks out of his own time freeze and crashes to the floor-

Bearblax: Oww... now I know how a raindrop feels. Now, how do I get back home? This place is deserted... I know! I'll go through that black hole!

-After Bearblax jumps off into a dark void, Olimar notices that he's having a problem-

Olimar: Come on! It won't go through!

Red 41: What's wrong?

Olimar: My thread! It won't go through the needle! Now how am I supposed to sew you a new pair of mittens?

Red 41: -slaps self on head- Knitting is for girls!

Olimar: Did I ever say I was male?

Red 41: Oh my god... Hey guys, you gotta hear this!!!

Olimar: Hey, I was joking!!! Come back here!!!

-A few seconds later, all of the Pikmin in the area explode in laughter-

Yellow 46: Who would have knew?

Red 58: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Olimar: Stop it! I was only joking!

Yellow 4: Yeah, suuuuuuuuure you were.

Olimar: Wow! Someone believes me!

Yellow 4: I was being sarcastic.

-All the Pikmin surround Olimar, poking him and saying random insults-

Olimar: Hoo boy, what else could go wrong?

-Suddenly the screen goes black. The only things left are Olimar and a few rocks-

Olimar: YAY! It's a miracle!

GG: Gosh, I leave for two minutes and look what happens. Better get on with the fanfic then.

Olimar: WAIT! You're not putting me back with THEM, are you?

GG: No.

-The screen suddenly flashes, and Olimar finds himself in the Dolphin!-

Olimar: What the hell? I'm back here!

Computer: No duh! Did you think it was a jolly good time flying around aimlessly in space for days you weakling?

Olimar: Still calling me that, huh?

-Meteor comes out and hits the Dolphin-

Olimar: Oh ----!!!

-crash-

Day 1... Again...

Olimar: Whatwhowhenwherewhy? I'm back here? Wait a sec... everything seems to be going normally... could it be? I'm back in my regular game? YAY! I BEAT THE FANFIC!

Bearblax: Huh? Olimar! What are you doing here?

Olimar: Oh no... it's you!

Bearblax: Darn tootin. Now you have to deal with ME! I'm sick of you always getting the glory!

Olimar: -backing up- Uhh... it was a joke?

-Suddenly swarms of black Pikmin come out of everywhere-

Olimar: No! It's getting glitched up again!!!

Bearblax: You think Grenade Guzzler was satisfied with everything going back to normal?

Olimar: This isn't happening... this isn't happening...

Pikmin 1: -comes out of bush- Olimar! Where have you been? Get into the obstacle course this instant!

Bearblax: Don't try to resist it. Go!

Olimar: No! I'll never!

Bearblax: Fine. I'll eat you instead.

Olimar: Okay okay... I'm going... when will this ever end???

Olimar: What the?

-The entire planet explodes. The entire galaxy explodes. The entire fanfic explodes-

GG: Well crap.

**The End!**

…

-rewind. The planet re-materliazes and the entire fanfic is back to normal-

Pikmin 1: Get in here this instant!

Olimar: Okay okay! Sheesh, you're the bossy type all of a sudden.

-Suddenly, Bulbear #1 appears out of nowhere-

Bulbear #1: AHA! I caught you once again, Olimar!

Olimar: Not you again! Say, how can you remember all this stuff? It's not like anyone else here can!

Bulbear #1: I am immune to your puny time control mix-ups. You will finally pay for murdering Bearblax and for killing my entire army?

Bearblax: Murdered? I'm right here you know.

Bulbear #1: Yeah right. You're probably Bulblax in a disguise, or a robot or something.

-Olimar tries to sneak away, but a black Pikmin sees him-

Black Pikmin 234: Look! There's the captain guy running away! Running is fun, it makes you all jiggly! Hahahaha...

Olimar: Curse your stupidity! -runs like crazy-

Pikmin 1: **COME BACK HERE!!! **

Bearblax: Whoa! Not so loud!

-Olimar continues to run when he bumps into a small object-

Olimar: Wha? Oh, it's just a 1 pellet.

R. Pikmin: Hi, what's going on, did I hear someone talking about a pellet?

Olimar: I have no idea where that Pikmin just came from, but what the heck. Grab that 1 pellet and take it back to your Onion!

R. Pikmin: Yes sir!

-The Pikmin drags the pellet at a slow rate since it has a leaf on its head-

TWO DAYS LATER

Olimar: Phew... how much farther???

R. Pikmin: Oh, we're not even halfway there yet.

FOUR DAYS LATER

R. Pikmin: Oh, there it is!

Olimar: -gasp- I am never -wheeze- trusting a stray -cough- red Pikmin ever -gasp- again! -cough-

R. Pikmin: We're almost there.

Breadbug: Huh? Pellet? PELLET PELLET PELLET!!!

-The Breadbug catches sight of the lone pellet and runs towards it-

Olimar: Oh no, don't you dare touch it.

Breadbug: Steal pellets! Pellet PELLET!

-The Breadbug latches onto the pellet when it's 1 micrometer away from being to the point of sucking in to the red Onion-

R. Pikmin: Hey, leave this pellet alone you big bully!

Olimar: Let go! -punches Breadbug like crazy-

Breadbug: That tickles. PELLET PELLET PELLET!!!

-The Breadbug lets go of the pellet and latches onto Olimar-

Olimar: Holy crap!!! What do you think I am, a pellet? Help me, you Pikmin!

R. Pikmin: -dragging pellet- La dee dae dah...

Olimar: This isn't good...

Breadbug: Come into my house. It's got lots of PELLETS! PELLET PELLET...

Olimar: Say the p word one more time and I'll slit your throat.

-The Breadbug reaches its nest and drags Olimar down-

Olimar: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!! -Muffled screams-

Swooping Snitchbug: -flying above the Breadbug nest- Did I just hear something? Maybe... -sees R. Pikmin- Well well well, another one ripe for me to kidnap. Here I come!

-Inside the Breadbug nest-

Olimar: Let me go!

Breadbug: No.

Olimar: Let me go! That's an order! I'm CAPTAIN Olimar, and I'll get a Major on your butt so fast you won't have time to say "PELLET PELLET PELLET!!!"

Breadbug: Pellet?

Olimar: Sigh...

Breadbug: Aha, here we are. Here's my big pot of PELLETS!

Olimar: What the? How many do you have here?

Breadbug: Ummmm...

-The Breadbug starts to count each individual pellet. Olimar takes advantage of the distraction and searches for a way out-

Olimar: Arg! There's nothing but dirt and rock here! But how does the Breadbug emerge to the surface? Hmm... whoa! Is that what I think it is? Yes! It's an elevator. Now I can escape!... Dang, there's a combo lock on it. I bet he only knows the combination. Oh well.

-Olimar walks back to the pellet vault-

Breadbug: I'm not done counting!

Olimar: Hurry up!

TWO HOURS LATER

Breadbug: Finished! There are 6 pellets here!

Olimar: What? It took you two hours to count to 6?!?!

Breadbug: Grade 1 dropout.

Olimar: I see.

-Meanwhile, above the Breadbug nest-

R. Pikmin: Here's where he disappeared, but I can't get in here.

Swooping Snitchbug: Mwahahahaha! Now I will GRAB you!

R. Pikmin: Aw crud!

-R. Pikmin runs around for a little while, but then trips, allowing the Swooping Snitchbug to catch him-

R. Pikmin: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! Let me down!

Swooping Snitchbug: Oh I'll let you down alright. I'll plant you and you'll be stuck in the ground forever!

R. Pikmin: Oh no! I'm too young to live an eternity in the ground!

Swooping Snitchbug: Say your prayers! -Throws R. Pikmin downwards-

R. Pikmin: Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!!!

R. Pikmin: I don't want to be in the ground forever!

-Fortunately, the Swooping Snitchbug dropped R. Pikmin right over a fire sprout. He hits the sprout, and since he can't get planted in it, nothing happens-

R. Pikmin: Whoo, that was too close.

-Meanwhile...-

Olimar: Um, listen. I need to get my luggage outside, it's very important. Could you possibly open the combo lock on the elevator so I count get outside?

Breadbug: What combo?

Olimar: Oh no... **YOU DON'T KNOW THE COMBINATION??? **

Breadbug: Nope. But I do this instead!

-The Breadbug bites the lock and pulls for a little while. It snaps in half-

Breadbug: And I just put a new lock when I need it!

Olimar: Sucker! -runs into elevator-

Breadbug: I gotta stop believing these guys who say they need to get some luggage... my pellets will make me happy. PELLET PELLET PELLET! -runs off-

-The elevator reaches the surface-

Olimar: Woohoo! I made it out alive!

R. Pikmin: And not a moment to spare. The flying bug is coming back!

Olimar: Flying bug? Oh, it's just a Swooping Snitchbug. It can't do any harm.

R. Pikmin: That's what you think!!! -runs away like crazy-

Swooping Snitchbug: Aha! Another victim! But it's not a Pikmin... ah well. Well, I can't pick this dolt up, that's for sure. But I can use THIS!

-The Swooping Snitchbug takes out a remote control-

Olimar: What is that?

Swooping Snitchbug: This remote control can raise or lower IQs of all secondary characters at will. In other wards, I can make everything like it was back in chapters 1 to 3! Oh, those were the best of times.

Olimar: Man, that was a while ago. You know something I haven't done in a while?

-Olimar takes off his helmet. He chokes, then puts it back on-

Olimar: -hack- Amazing!!! -cough-

Swooping Snitchbug: Oh, and don't forget to use this.

-A black hole suddenly appears out of nowhere and sucks Olimar in-

Swooping Snitchbug: That was easy.

Bulbear #1: Good job! Now we're finally rid of him.

Swooping Snitchbug: Can I have that ice cream sandwich you promised me?

-Meanwhile, in the black hole-

Olimar: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!! I just realized I hate the past! Taking off my helmet, Bulblax trying to eat me and all those other stupid moments! I DON'T WANNA GO!!!

-The black hole suddenly disappears and Olimar flies out at an unimaginable speed and crashes on a rock-

Olimar: Ow... that really hurt. Seriously.

Bulblax: Here you are! Time to eat you!

Olimar: This bites.

-Olimar tries to run away, but Bulblax eats him-

Olimar: Looks like this fanfic took a turn for the worst.

GG: Hey, that's very offensive you know.

Olimar: Aigh! I'm sorry!

GG: No, I'm not letting you slide this time. You must be punished!

-Two hours later, Olimar is still inside Bulblax-

Olimar: I'm getting really bored and digested here... aha! He's sleeping with his mouth open! Just like last time. Time to sneak out.

-Olimar walks out and before Bulblax can realize anything, a huge mob of red Pikmin swarm his face and kill him-

Olimar: Man, these tactics I used before really come in handy.

-A time portal opens and reveals two ancient Pikmin-

A. Pikmin 1: Ahem. Captain Olimar I presume? Greg and Mort here from the copyright agency. It seems that Grenade Guzzler and TriskaDeka copyrighted that method a while ago. I'm sorry, but you must be punished.

Olimar: What???

A. Pikmin: Your fine is eighty thousand 1 pellets. If you don't pay up by tomorrow, all Pikmin of the future will be forced to milk cows and make cheese at the same time. We will return tomorrow to collect the fine. Good day.

-The two ancient Pikmin run back into the time portal. It disappears-

Olimar: -mouth hanging open- **EIGHTY THOUSAND 1 PELLETS??? **How can we collect all those by tomorrow???

Pikmin 57: We search for pellets and we go off in a sleepless night I guess.

Olimar: I suppose, but the Bulborbs, Wollywogs and Shearwigs will be rampant after sundown. Be careful!

-Three hours pass. The sun is about to set-

Olimar: How many pellets do we have so far?

Pikmin 236: 1,035

Olimar: That's it! We'll never be able to pay the sum by tomorrow.

GG: I know I shouldn't do this... but what the hey.

-A huge bag appears out of nowhere right in front of Olimar's nose-

Olimar: Ack... bag crushing nose!

Actually, the bag appears ON Olimar's nose. What's the difference.

Pikmin 46: Let's open it!

-The Pikmin make a gash in the side of the bag. Inside is a huge cache of 1 pellets, all red, yellow and blue.-

Olimar: Oh it's a miracle! Now all you guys go off into the Onion. We'll see what happens tomorrow.

-The next morning-

Pikmin 357: Finished counting the pellets! We have exactly 80,000!!!

Olimar: Woohoo! Ah, here they come now.

A. Pikmin 1: Do you have the pellets!

Olimar: We sure do! They're right there.

A. Pikmin 2: Wow, that's a lot of pellets.

Olimar: So are we off the hook?

A. Pikmin 1: Hang on... I count only 79,999 pellets!

Olimar: But there were 80,000 earlier ago!

Pikmin 34: -sweating like crazy- Uhh, you shouldn't have dismissed me near the pellet cache... I just had to bring one back to the Onion.

Olimar: YOU IDIOT!!! Now you've doomed all of your kind!

A. Pikmin 2: We're so sorry, but all Pikmin are now forced to come with us.

Pikmin 567: Oh yeah? Make us!

All Pikmin: YEAH!

A. Pikmin 1: Sigh. Fire up the death ray.

Olimar: Death ray?

-A. Pikmin 2 gets on top of a huge raygun-

A. Pikmin 2: Either all Pikmin on the planet group here and go into the hole or I will exterminate you all!!!

Olimar: Excellent. Now what am I going to do?

Olimar: Wait! I have an idea! -whispering- _Hey, you! Go off to the left and get behind that ancient Pikmin. There's a few bomb-rocks there. Kill the one behind the cannon! Leave the other one to us. _

Yellow 344: **OKAY!!! **

A. Pikmin 1: Argh Keep it down!

Yellow 344: **SORRY, IT'S A VOCAL CORD PROBLEM. **

-Yellow 344 sneaks into a hidden passage and emerges behind the A. Pikmin 2-

A. Pikmin 1: We're still waiting for everyone to group.

A. Pikmin 2: You have two minutes! Group or be eliminated!

-Yellow 344 grabs a bomb-rock and sneaks up behind A. Pikmin 2-

Yellow 344: **DIE!!!**

-Yellow 344 throws the bomb at A. Pikmin 2. It explodes and the Pikmin is thrown away from the cannon-

A. Pikmin 2: Avenge me! -dies-

A. Pikmin 1: Mort! NO!!!!!! Oh, you are going to pay for this.

-A. Pikmin 1 tries to run towards the portal, but Olimar and a mob of Pikmin are blocking the way-

A. Pikmin 1: Uhh... guys! I wasn't really serious!

Olimar: Yeah, right. We're just going to ask you some questions, then we'll kill you.

A. Pikmin 1: Darn! I guess I just need to do this!

-A. Pikmin 1 takes out a raygun and fries all the Pikmin blocking the time portal-

Olimar: Hey! Don't do that!

A. Pikmin 1: Freedom!

-Suddenly the portal disappears-

A. Pikmin 1: What the? Where did it go???

???: Greg! You have failed me!

Olimar: That voice... oh no.

Bulbear #1: -coming out of a stump- Fine work you did there Greg. Let them blast you. I swear I hire idiots to do my dirty work!

A. Pikmin 1: Now listen... I didn't mean to -slurp-

Bulbear #1: Yuck! You taste as bad as your performance.

Olimar: For the thousandth time, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

Bulbear #1: Never! I'm the baddie in this fanfic! I won't rest until I see you dead for good.

Pikmin 344: **WHAT? **

Bulbear #1: Loudmouth! -eats Pikmin 344-

Olimar: Oh great, now he's pissed.

Bulbear #1: Now I won't stand for this! Prepare to be eliminated once and for all!

Olimar: Okay. Pop quiz. How many Pikmin can you see backing me up?

Bulbear #1: Zero.

Olimar: Zero? That's ridiculous. Why, they're probably charging at you right now!

Bulbear #1: Turn around.

-Olimar turns around. All he can see is a bunch of dust trails leading back to the Onions-

Olimar: Oh great. -runs away-

Bulbear #1: -whispering- _Should I chase him boss? _

GG: _Yeah, do that. Here's your five bucks now. Now SCRAM! _

Bulbear #1: _Yes sir._

-Olimar runs away at full speed. Unknowingly, he is running right past a giant nest of Fiery Blowhogs-

Blowhog 5: What was that?

Blowhog 2: Probably just another animal. Now you see that thing approaching? That's what we call a "Bulbear".

Blowhog 3: You mean all red with the white spots?

Blowhog 2: No, that's a "Bulborb". Anyway, let's fry it.

Blowhog 4: Sounds good to me.

Blowhog 1: Here he comes!

-All 5 Blowhogs run out of their nest and stop right in front of Bulbear #1's path-

Bulbear #1: Oh! You must be the trainees. For your first mission, you must... hey, wait a second... I don't remember hiring any Fiery Blowhogs...

Blowhog 3: FRY HIM!

Bulbear #1: Eheheheh... oh crap.

-All 5 Blowhogs use their attacks on Bulbear #1. He is seen running in flames-

Bulbear #1: AAAAAHHHH! IT BURNS!!!!!!!

Blowhog 5: There's some water over there!

Bulbear #1: THANKS!!!

-As Bulbear #1 runs towards the water, all 5 Blowhogs start snickering-

Bulbear #1: Just a few more feet! This fire really burns!!!

-Bulbear #1 tries to jump in, but he realized he is floating right on the surface-

Bulbear #1: Huh? I thought grubdogs were denser than water!

Goolix: That's what you thought, chump! I'm not water!

Bulbear #1: I don't care!

-Bulbear #1 sinks into the Goolix and the flames are extinguished. When he tries to run out, he is blocked-

Goolix: You think you can escape my grasp, you puny grubdog? I will digest you in full view of the public!

Bulbear #1: WAIT A SECOND! You can't just remove me from the story! I'm MAJOR!

GG: You're fired.

Bulbear #1: Well this is stupid.

Goolix: Now face the wrath of my pink nuclei as it breaks your body down!

-Many characters from the game come out of nowhere and sit down in front of the Goolix-

Shearwig: Oh boy! I love these public executions!

Bulborb #2: Hey, Bulbear! Remember me?

Bulbear #1: YOU!!!

-Bulbear #1 starts biting the side of the Goolix. It bursts-

Goolix: NOOOOOOO! My protective shell is RUINED!

Bulborb #2: You want me? Come and get me! Unless you're scared...

Bulbear #1: Oh I'm not going to fight you personally. But I will tell you one thing... oh my god! What's that behind you???

Bulborb #2: You think I'm stupid enough to fall for that?

Bulbear #1: No I'm serious! Look at that behind you!!!

Bulborb #2: Pah, your newbie tricks don't scare...

-Bulborb #2 gets killed-

Hideous Thing Behind Bulborb #2: -holding a brick- I'm just trying to fit in... -runs away crying-

-Meanwhile, where Olimar is...-

Olimar: I think I lost him. Of course I think I'm lost too. Where the heck am I? And what's this thing on the ground?

-Olimar bends down and finds a remote control-

Olimar: Wha? _Use Switch To Control Intelligence of Secondary Characters. _Oh! It's that remote the Snitchbug dropped! But I have no time for it... but what the hey, I could use a good laugh.

-Olimar flicks the switch to "Level 2: Stupid Moron"-

Olimar: Let's see what happens...

-A huge bunch of random enemies comes out from behind a tree and start doing backflips and eat sand-

Olimar: Huh? Too stupid! Let's try level 3, "Under-intelligent Thing"

-The switch is pressed. The same enemies realize there is sand in their mouths and spit it out. They instead eat dirt-

Olimar: Still too stupid. Let's try... Level 9! "Know-it-all Jerk"

-The switch is pressed. The enemies stop eating and start to mumble extremely complicated physics equations and start drawing huge diagrams in the sand-

Olimar: Blah! This is...

-Before he can finish, a Sheargrub comes out of nowhere, grabs the remote, and heads back down-

Olimar: Hey! Give that back!

Shearwig: You idiot! Now that we're the smartest things in the galaxy, we will rule this fanfic and you without trouble.

FOUR DAYS LATER

Olimar: Okay. I made it back finally... hey, where is everyone?

-Suddenly a giant yellow object appears out of nowhere-

Olimar: What's going on here?

Giant Object: Oh! A bug! I'll squish it!

Olimar: Wait a second...

-Olimar looks up only to see that it's a giant yellow Pikmin!-

Olimar: WAIT! Don't squish me!

Giant Y. Pikmin: Huh? That voice sounded like Olimar... ah well. Time to go squish you little bug!

Olimar: Crap.

-Giant Y. Pikmin tries to unknowingly squish Olimar, but he is able to dive out of the way and hide under a rock-

Giant Y. Pikmin: Aww, he got away. -Walks away-

Olimar: Phew... I'm safe here.

???: We sure are!

Olimar: Huh? Who said that?

???: I did!

Olimar: Where? I can't see you!

???: Walk into that blade of grass please.

Olimar: Uh... okay...

-Olimar walks into the grass only to find that ??? Is a little black dot that appears when you rustle plants-

Black Dot 1: Did you see the size of that thing?

Olimar: Wow! I thought you were just little black dots!

Black Dot 2: Uh, we are.

Black Dot 3: I suppose you're wondering why everyone in this area is super sized.

Olimar: Everyone?

Black Dot 1: Yeah. There was a strange spaceship that appeared here just five days ago. Some weird looking alien walked out and shot all those Pikthings and that weird looking monster with a raygun, and everyone became 100 times their normal size!

Olimar: Alien? What did he look like?

Black Dot 2: Kind of like you, I think.

Olimar: Like me? Doh! He was from Hocotate! If I only stayed around I would have been saved!

Black Dot 3: We must leave! Bye!

-The Black Dots sink back into the plant-

Olimar: Interesting... all the Pikmin in this area have grown by 10000... wait a second, he also mentioned a "strange monster"... Oh no, please don't tell me he was talking about Bearblax...

-Meanwhile, in the ship that fired the raygun-

Guy: I don't see why this was necessary...

Guy's Assistant: I don't know.

-Suddenly Sheigru Myamoto's head appears in space in front of the ship-

Guy: What is that???

Guy's Assistant: Our sensors recognize it as an Akrjgotpsigyntkajfnhaofgkhoaian warship!

Guy: OH NO! Blast it!

-Guy's spaceship fires all its weapons at Myamoto's head. No effect-

Myamoto: You in the ship! I think you'd make a perfect companion to Captain Olimar in the upcoming Pikmin 2!

Guy: Olimar? That dweeb? Why should I?

Myamoto: Because I'm forcing you! I forged your signature into an unbreakable contract and I have complete control over your ship now. Back to the Pikmin planet with you!

-Myamoto's head disappears-

Guy's Assistant: The warship seems to have retreated...

Guy: Shut up. Please, shut up.

**The End! Seriously!**


End file.
